


The Hardest Part Chapter 1

by orphan_account



Category: Twilight
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-06
Updated: 2011-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-15 11:06:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winner of multiple awards, this is the first story of my Imprinting: The Mating Imperative series. How Embry imprints on his best friend's girl and does his best to win her love while exploring the imprinted relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[   
](http://s145.photobucket.com/albums/r223/sandyquill/Twilight/?action=view&current=THP2.jpg)

**~LJ**

 **The hard part is keeping the secret...**

The hardest part was not that Mom kept grounding me. The hardest part wasn't the fear, or the lack of self-control – those things, I was overcoming. I knew it. The hardest part was keeping it from my two best friends. The hardest part was not telling Jacob or Quil. It was being gone for a week and coming home to my mom all freaking out and not being able to tell her, either. It was having to avoid my friends while knowing with almost one hundred percent certainty that they needed to know what I knew so that they wouldn't be as scared as I had been.

I had been terrified when I first became a werewolf.

But I obeyed the injunction. I had to. Sam was Alpha and his word, when he laid it down, was law. Unbreakable.

Sam called us together one afternoon. Jared showed up late but wolf-fashion, and we all could see where he had been keeping himself since school got out. Sam ignored the memories our brother brought with him, Paul snorted and barked with some derision, and I howled. _Jared! You have to find some other place to put that stuff, you know? Kim's a cutie and all that, but, man!_

Paul shook his head as if he had a bad smell in his nose. _I thought this imprinting stuff was supposed to be rare, Sam. But here we are, with half of us imprinting. That's a huge percentage._

I hadn't thought about that until just that moment. _Right. Yuck. Well, we'll just have to stay clear of that one, Paul._

 _Yeah_.

 _Enough,_ Sam said, his mental voice stern. _We need to be thinking about what comes next. I've heard that Jacob's been getting fevered, lately. Billy Black has said so._

 _And have you seen how huge he's got?_ Paul remarked, sitting on his haunches.

 _I have been spending time with him, trying to see what he has learned already, but he doesn't know, yet._

 _Can't we tell him?_ I asked again. _Can't we say anything? We know he's going to be joining us. Should've happened already, right? He's Ephraim's great grandson! He'll know it all soon enough. It'd be nice if he didn't have to be as freaked out by it as the rest of us._

Sam paced. _No. The secret must be kept._

 _But he's – he's our friend. He's like a brother to me_ , I protested. Weakly, because Sam was the Alpha, but still.

 _He'll do well enough when it is his time. Should be soon. Should be very soon._

I remembered when it had been my time. I remembered finally having got up the nerve to ask out a girl at school and then finding her making out with another guy. It had been enough to make me lose it, that first time. Then it took me about a week to find my human skin again.

Paul rumbled in his chest. _Well, that won't happen to Jake. He's already seeing the leech-lover. Bella Swan. He won't phase because of her._

I sighed. I knew that if – when – Jake became one of our pack, he'd have to give Bella up and that would break his heart. It really would. I'd never seen him as into a girl as he was into the Police Chief's daughter. Not that she was all that pretty, I recalled. Last time I'd seen her, she looked totally messed up. Pale and shadowy, like she'd been really sick for a long time. Still, she'd probably been getting better. She and Jake had been practically living in each other's pockets when they weren't in school.

That night, we heard from Sam that Jake phased for the first time. I immediately leapt from my low bedroom window and tied my jeans around my ankle before phasing. I found Jake's mind and showed him it was me and that we'd all help him.

 _I'm so relieved you're with us now, Jake! I've missed being able to talk to you about stuff._

His mind was tangled, terrified. I showed him how to get out of his house and to get outside. We met him, there, behind the house. The four of us. Wolf-skinned. _Jake! Man! We're here. You're not crazy. We'll help you!_

I told him everything, then. There were no secrets in the pack. I told him about the bloodsuckers and the treaty and all the stories being for real. Unsurprisingly, foremost in his mind after we assured him he wasn't going crazy, was Bella Swan.

Sam forbade him to speak to Bella about any of this. It just about broke Jake. My gut hurt for him, but what could I do?

We heard, over the next few weeks, that Bella was trying to see Jake. We also heard that Jake wasn't talking to her, thought, just as he'd been told.

Then the bloodsucker came into treaty territory. And it was stalking Bella Swan. We watched, because if it was a Cullen, we couldn't kill it without starting a war. And it was talking to Bella, too, so we were really careful.

 _Is this one of them? Come on, I want to rip him apart!_ Paul insisted silently.

Jake focused. _Not HIM, anyway. Don't think it's a Cullen._

I peered through the foliage too, into the open meadow. _He's advancing on her. Look._

Jake turned at Bella's gasp. _Bells honey, don't worry,_ he was thinking. _We'll get him. Don't worry. He won't hurt you._

 _Jacob! Attention to the job at hand!_ Jake jerked his head back and we all advanced on the leech. When he ran – we ran!

The speed! The speed was amazing. It's one of the best things about being a werewolf. I love the speed. We ran like we could fly, following the dark-haired, red-eyed parasite who had been going to feast on Bella. Sure, she was a friend of the vamps herself, but she was human and we were bound to protect her.

How could I know how far-reaching that concept would be?

 **The hard part is stealing your best friend's girl...**

We all knew Bella had been calling Jake. We just never really expected her to show up at his house like she did that rainy day. And it was plenty wet. We were all at Jake's house already and heard her ancient truck almost as soon as it hit La Push. The motor was chugging, sounding like it was trying to pull an entire train instead of just the truck body. Slow thing; I'd had to ride in it, before Chief Swan bought it.

Bella drove right up to the front of Jake's red house. Billy looked out the window at her, and she refused to come in, refused to leave. She was just waiting.

"Guys, I gotta talk to her," Jake said, his voice tortured even though he was trying to make it calm.

I clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll all be here for you. Don't worry. You gotta keep her safe, too, right?"

"Sure, sure," he muttered, his breath coming faster as he tried to keep the oxygen flowing and his temper under control.

Part of me was hoping for something – that my best friend could be like Jared and Sam and imprint. On Bella Swan. He loved her already, so it wouldn't be the huge shock that it had been for Sam. "Maybe you could _look_ at her," I whispered next to his ear to try to keep it just between the two of us. "Before you go out to see her."

He whipped a glance at me, a huge _What the hell?_ in his eyes. It was clear to me that, right to that point, he hadn't really thought of _that_. That maybe the freaky werewolf mating thing could be for him and Bella, too. I heard him swallow and his heart give a heavy beat before he pushed out a huge breath.

The rest of the pack heard those parts, but they didn't hear my suggestion. Which was a good thing. Sam wouldn't have appreciated that.

"All right. Let's go talk to her," Jake said, sounding resigned. He didn't peek out the window at Bella, as I'd hoped. Instead, he went out in the drizzle to meet her, with his pack at his back, as was right.

Bella was in the cab of the that ancient Chevy Jake had been working on a couple of years before. Looked like she was writing something. Sam, Jared, Paul and I backed off a little when Jake went to knock on the truck and get her attention. I saw her head lift, saw her look all anxious as she stared at Jake and I wondered, briefly, if she loved him, too. Like he loved her.

And then she looked past Jacob to the rest of us. We stood there, our arms crossed, waiting for Jake to tell her goodbye. I grimaced and prepared to meet her accusing expression –

Wide brown eyes met mine and I gasped. I felt my arms fall out of their protective stance. All the pieces of my life took a few steps back, distancing themselves from the girl who had suddenly become the center of my universe with a jolt that left me breathless. Mom? The pack? School? My best friends, Jake and Quil? None of them held my heart or loyalty anymore. Not like she did. Not like Bella Swan. Everything made perfect sense, now. _Everything_. My head felt light. I felt a heat start burning in my heart. It was like something was _glowing_ inside of me. I was _imprinting_. _Me_. Wow.

I saw her blink while I tried to get a handle on this. Of course; she had no idea what was happening, did she? She knew vampires, not werewolves. Well, now she would. Anything she wanted to know, I'd tell her.

I approached her eagerly, only belatedly hearing my brothers' shocked exclamations. "Bella," I said, reaching the door of her truck and standing right next to Jake. "It's _you_."

"Embry?" Jacob's husky voice hit me sideways, but I couldn't drag my eyes from Bella's face. Her deep brown eyes, the growing blush in her cheeks. I felt like I could stare at her all day and be completely happy. I was fiercely glad that I was a werewolf because I knew that I had helped rescue her, that day in the meadow.

When Jake called my name again, I tried to pull my attention from Bella, but it was really hard. I needed to talk to her, to hear her voice, to touch her...

"Jake," I said, my attention divided between his face and hers. Hers was puzzled at the attention, I guessed. Wondering why one of Jake's brothers was staring at her like she was something precious and beautiful and amazing. But she was! In all the stuff that Jake had inadvertently communicated to us – there are no secrets among the pack brothers – never once had he said _how perfect_ she was. Never once. Was he blind? "What is it?" I asked him, still caught up in the wonder of seeing my mate.

Of course, that's what she was. My other half. Right there. She was _right there_!

" _Em_ bry." The way he said my name got my full attention finally and I turned to meet his eyes. His own narrowed, his nostrils flared and I sensed the deep anger and sorrow that vibrated from his entire body.

"Jacob!" Sam called, his voice staccato and commanding. "To the forest! Now!" Jake didn't even pause to think about it; he was gone, followed by Sam. Jared and Paul left, too. I saw Jake go, knew I'd have to talk to him, knew all of that, but... It was distant, really. Not nearly as important as Bella, who was following Jake with her eyes.

Bella, who was right there and really confused. I wished she would say my name. I wished she would let me hear her voice, so that it would settle in my mind, my heart, as it would be for the rest of my life.

I got my wish. "Embry?" she rasped. "What the _hell_ is going on?"

"You want to take a walk?" I asked, forgetting that she didn't know me, really. We'd met that one time in Jake's garage, but it had been Quil making the biggest play for her attention that day. And then Jake had threatened us with dismemberment...! Seemed kind of far-away, just now.

Bella tossed her notebook aside and scowled at me. Later, I'd laugh, because, really, it was a bizarre way for a lifetime partnership to start, you know? "Fine. Yes. Only if you promise to tell me what's wrong with Jake."

I grinned. Her voice was music, to me. Aggravated, of course, but she had every right to be irritated. "Do you want me to get you an umbrella? Something to keep the rain off?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, Embry. I'm getting used to the wet. Just, please, tell me what's going on?"

I opened her door for her and stopped her when she would have rolled up the windows. I had seen she had trouble with that. Well, I'd do it for her. I inhaled deeply as she brushed past me. She had her own scent, reminding me of flowers in the sunshine –

Wow. The fragrance caught me powerfully, making my heart race and my breath catch and my skin tighten. Wow.

"Let's go," I said, wanting to take her hand in mine, to feel her skin, to learn how she walked. I didn't. I reminded myself just in time that she didn't know me. Not very well. So I shoved my hands in my pockets and started walking in a different direction than Jake had taken. Jake. That was going to be a problem. _He must be feeling like I've stabbed him_. I'd find out later, I was sure.

"All right." Bella allowed me to go about fifty yards beyond the edge of the Black's yard. "Tell me, Embry. This is just killing me."

I took a deep breath and wondered if it really would work. If I could really _tell_ her. I opened my mouth and tried. "We know," I told her using the pack plural, "that Jacob told you some – some stories. Last year. About our tribe and some legends. He wasn't supposed to do that."

Bella bit her lip and I was momentarily distracted. _So soft..._ "He told me he wasn't supposed to. Did he get in trouble?"

I shook my head. "Nope. But he didn't know... He didn't know the stories he told you were real." She used to run with bloodsuckers; I figured she would know that much, anyway.

I heard her heart. It skipped a little and pain carved lines into her face. I felt that pain like it was my own and I didn't know what to do. "Hey. I'm sorry. Um. I am just trying to answer your question, Bella."

"Okay," she whispered. "What does that have to do with Jake?"

"There are the legends, remember. Legends of the Cold Ones and their enemies."

Her breath came fast and she swallowed. Shivered. I pulled the hood up on her jacket to help keep her warm. She didn't seem to notice. "Werewolves..." The word came out on a shuddering breath as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I wished, then, for Jake. Jake would know what was wrong with her and he'd be able to tell me how to help her. But no... Jake probably – more than probably – didn't want to even think of me just now.

Suddenly, the pale girl collapsed, right there in front of me. I scooped her up before she could hit the wet earth and held her next to me, glad again for what I was, because I was hot enough to keep her warm. _Quick! Shelter! Over there, a tree_. I carried her to the tree and lowered us to the ground. The wet ground was only barely uncomfortable for me; for her, she was out from the rain, off of the ground and warm. That much I knew for certain. "Bella?"

Her eyelids fluttered open and she stared at me. I wondered what she saw. "Sorry," she grimaced. "Did you say _werewolves_?"

I smiled into her eyes, relieved she was able to say the word. "You did, actually."

She nodded slowly. Then, she shifted a little and seemed to realize I was holding her. I totally didn't mind. She, though, did, and I couldn't blame her. "Um, yeah. Okay. Let me up, all right, Embry?"

"Sure." I stood, still holding her, and then put her on her feet. Okay, so maybe I was showing off. "Are you all right with this?"

She shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket, but stayed with me under the tree. Around us, the rain started coming down harder, making wet slapping sounds on the ground and softer sounds in the trees. I leaned against the tree trunk and waited for Bella to work her head around this stuff. "Werewolves," she said again, looking out into the rain, her back to me. "All right. I got it. But what does this have to do with why Jake was so – angry? Why didn't he just tell me? He's got to know I can keep a secret." She rounded on me, her face scrunched together. "I've been calling him for weeks, you know? He hasn't even _talked_ to me. What's up with that?"

"I know. And I know he's really _wanted_ to tell you, Bella. He really has. He just wasn't allowed to."

"Why not?" she demanded, her voice flat.

"Sam said –"

She threw up a hand. "I don't want to hear what Sam says, Embry. Can't Jake just make these decisions for himself? Is Sam, like, everyone's boss, now?" Frustrated anger rolled from her in waves. I wanted to comfort her, but knew that the truth probably wouldn't.

I puffed out a resigned breath. "I'm guessing you want the whole truth and nothing but?"

"You guess right."

"All right then." Pushing off the tree trunk, I came to stand next to her. I just _had_ to. "Whole truth and nothing but. Got a minute or should I take you home and get you comfortable first?"

Surprise widened her eyes. "Here's good."

"All right." I thought for a minute. "You know about the whole 'being descended from wolves' thing, right?" She nodded, watching my face. I tried not to let that make me too self-conscious. "Well, in some of the bloodlines, there is the possibility of becoming werewolves, like our ancestors. But only when our enemies are in the area. You know who they are and why this happened, then, right?"

She gasped and wrapped her arms around herself again. "The Cold Ones."

"The _Cullens_ ," I said firmly.

Her lips went bloodless and I moved instinctively to put my arm around her in case she fainted again. "Bella? Maybe I should at least get you inside. I could take you to my house," my mom was working, "or drive you up to yours?"

"What do you mean, about the Cullens?" she asked, her voice thin and edged. It hurt my ears to hear the pain, there.

Still, I wasn't fooled, of course. "We know you know about them, Bella. We know."

"Know what?" She refused to meet my eyes, but she hadn't shrugged my arm off, either. I was glad about that; I wanted her to be warm and safe.

I understood she was protecting a secret, too, but it was unnecessary. "We know what they are. We know you know. So give me a break and take it as read, okay?" She flinched, but also leaned into my arm, so I stayed where I was. Then, she nodded. So did I. "All right," I continued. "So Jake's a werewolf. Just like me."

"You – you were in the meadow..." Her breath started coming fast and panicked and I watched her carefully. "When... When Laurent came..."

I nodded. "We were. Yeah. He was going to attack; you know that?"

"Yes."

"Right. We had to wait to make sure. But yeah. So we killed him." I grinned in vicious satisfaction with the memory of the metallic ripping of the bloodsucker's flesh. "He won't be after you anymore, I promise." If only we could figure out what the other one wanted...

She blinked and looked up into my eyes, her lips white. "Embry? But wait. You...you got him? But he's a vampire. And his skin's so hard and he's so fast... I didn't think a vampire could be killed except by another vampire...?"

I felt the deep wish to ease her anxiety. "With a pack like ours? Piece of cake. We're fast, too, Bella. Fast enough to run him and his kind down. Well, we're having a problem with the redhead, though..."

Without any warning, Bella doubled over, almost falling on her face. Almost terrified, I picked her up and ran her through the falling rain to Billy's house since it was closest. "Hang on, Bella," I said, wracking my brain as to why she might be so green around her jawline. "Let's get you to inside, okay?"

"No!" she whispered, her insistence obvious. "No, I'm all right."

"You're NOT all right. You're having a rough morning." Stubborn girl. I loved her spirit, but she was a stubborn girl. "And you're sick. If you don't want to go to Billy's house, I can take you home." Her well-being was naturally my first priority.

"Home... Charlie... Victoria... No!" Even still in my arms – uncomplaining, so I figured she had to be pretty out of it – she crunched in on herself.

Charlie I knew, but – "Who's Victoria?"

"The redhead," she rasped, swallowing convulsively.

We were at her truck, and I leapt into the back of it, still holding her, sort of bending over her to keep the rain out of her face if I could. "What?"

"Red-headed vampire." She shuddered violently in my arms and I clutched her closer, my eyes frantically checking the trees in the area. I'd seen the redhead. She was the most unpredictable creature ever.

"You know her," I murmured, assured of our current safety and returning my focus to Bella's pale face. She looked almost as bad, now, as she had that first time I'd seen her in Jake's garage.

"Yeah." Another shudder.

Everything in me wanted to bundle her up next to me and hide her away to keep her safe, but I had to find out what she knew to do that. "Bella. We need to know what you know. So we can figure out how to protect you."

"Protect me?"

"It's what we do. We're protectors. It's why we're here."

She shook off her fear for a moment. Her focus sharpened and she looked – really looked – into my eyes. "So it's not a cult. Or a gang. You're... You're in a wolf pack."

I was pleased she had put that together in spite of her obvious terror. "Yeah."

"And you fight – vampires... But not the – the Cullens," she went on, closing her eyes against some inner pain.

I nodded more slowly. "Yes. We have a treaty with them."

"Right... Jake told me..."

"Are you feeling better?" I wanted to know what she knew about the redhead, but I would not ask her when she was so upset and sick. Her health and comfort had to come first. "Do you need something to eat or drink or..."

She shook her head abruptly, making the hood of her jacket slide off her hair. In a sharp motion, she was out of my arms and sitting awkwardly on the rusty metal bed of her truck, just like I was. The softening rain wet her hair. I tucked a strand of it behind her ear so it wouldn't get in her eye.

She gasped. "You're hot. Like - like Jake was when he got sick."

"He didn't get sick, Bella," I reminded her, feeling both excited to have been able to hold her for as long as I had and sad because she had left me so suddenly. I felt kind of...empty. "He phased into a wolf that night."

Her breath came fast and she closed her eyes. "Right. So." She swallowed. "You said you needed to know something?" When she moistened her lips, I was distracted and didn't answer right away. "About the redhead?" she prompted.

 _Focus, Em,_ I told myself. "Right. Yes." She was going to run screaming from me if I didn't take care. And now, she was the center of my universe. I felt tied to her, more every moment. Like her heart had a cable tied to my own and I needed to be close to her. Already I was thinking that leaving her at her house – which I'd have to do soon, so she could get warm and dry – would be really, really hard.

I was startled when I felt her cool touch on my arm. "Embry? Are _you_ all right?" Her concern thrilled me. I wondered how her fingers would feel on my face, how her face would feel under my fingers... Her lips...

I blew out a breath. She didn't really know me. I wasn't stupid. I knew that imprinting wasn't a two-way deal. I remembered what Sam had gone through...!

"The redhead. Yes. We need to know what she wants."

She rolled her hand as if it were self-explanatory. "Oh, that's easy," she said, her tone matter-of-fact that was belied by how sick she looked. "She wants me."

 **The hard part is finding out she's in deadly danger...**

My heart just about stopped. "What?" I demanded, gasping at even the idea of Bella being chased by that wild, unpredictable red-haired bloodsucker. "Why the hell would she want you?"

I didn't know why the new pain lashed over her body, causing her to double over again. I felt it, though. Felt it like it was mine. "Just a sec," she begged, her hands in fists.

I reached for her, of course. It was, again, involuntary. Took her now-freezing hands in mine, hoping to warm her. "I'm sorry, Bella," I murmured, trying to comfort her. "I don't know the story, see, and ..." _You're an idiot_ , I told myself. I didn't get it, but I felt horrible for being part of the pain she was feeling. "I only meant that I didn't know why she'd be after you. In our stories, they get mad when their mates are killed and want revenge, you know? And we killed her mate. We killed that other bloodsucker who was after you. So we thought she'd be coming after us and she's not. She's avoiding us. Avoiding our lines."

I'd talked long enough for Bella to recover a little, at least. Her hands were still in mine, though. I liked that. "Laurent was not her mate," she whispered at last.

Shocked – at the information and the fact that Bella felt able to give it to me – I could only stare at her. "He wasn't? But..."

"James. James was her mate," she went on, straightening a little and, inevitably, pulling her hands gently from my warmer ones.

Fear for her gripped me again and I checked the perimeter of the yard, tempted to phase wolf to meet with my brothers and give them this news immediately. I waited, though. Just in case there was more. "So, what does she want with you?"

Bella inhaled, a shallow, ragged sound that rubbed my nerve endings all wrong. "Ed - Edward killed James. Victoria's mate. Laurent said that – said that she wanted to, to kill me. Hurt me. To make Edwa - Edward suffer. M-mate for mate."

"Edward...?" I whispered, hesitant to ask, as if some instinct was guarding me against it, but unable to NOT know something so necessary to keeping Bella Swan safe.

"Edward Cullen. But - but he doesn't feel that way. About me. Anymore."

The story came together in an instant in my mind and I ached for her. I knew about Bella Swan getting lost in the woods when the Cullens left. I just didn't know – hey, we didn't run in the same crowd, and Jake's mind hadn't gone there – what the connection was. I remembered Sam's memory of finding her, though...

Fury leapt inside of me. Fury that anyone could abandon this marvelous, fragile girl and leave her to suffer as much as she had. I made a decision, based upon her well-being. Always. I decided I would not tell her about the imprint thing. Not just now. Instead, I'd just provide her with the answers she wanted, get the bloodsucker's 4-1-1, and take her home.

I inhaled deeply, sending the tremors away for now. "All right. So, the redhead is after you. We'll make sure you're safe, Bella. I promise."

I asked her to repeat what she had told me, and she did, her voice stronger. Then, I hesitated. "I, um, need to call my brothers. To tell them. Then I can take you home, okay?" I wanted them all alerted as soon as possible.

"I can drive, Embry," she muttered, sounding disgruntled.

I smiled and leapt from the back of her truck. "I know," I assured her, because that's what she most needed to hear. "So maybe you can drive and I can just come with?" She rolled her eyes at me. "Please? I just need to know you're _safe_ , Bella." That last came out a little too heavy and I winced inside myself. She'd hate that. I just knew it.

Well, I thought I did. Instead, a strange expression passed through her features. "You're probably as stubborn as Jake, right?"

Leaning over the back rear panel of the rusty red Chevy, I extended my hand to her. "Probably more."

She sighed dramatically and took my hand. "Fine. I'll drive. You can come with."

I needed to talk to Sam and tell him what I was doing, but I wasn't going to run off to the treeline to phase and leave her alone. "Sam!" I called aloud, directing my voice to the woods, "I'm seeing Bella home. I'll be in touch as soon as she's safe." I caught Bella's eyes when I'd done so, and she looked distinctly annoyed. Well, that wasn't something I could fix. I just had to remember to keep conversations about Sam's authority to a minimum, maybe, until she understood us better.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **\- The hard part is showing her the other side of me...**

**\- The hard part is showing her the other side of me...**

Bella started the truck, its engine roaring to life as I climbed into the cab beside her. She drove slowly – no choice, in this truck – and was mostly quiet on the way out of La Push. I didn't mind. It was enough...more than I imagined, actually...to just sit still with her. To inhale her fragrance in the truck, to study her profile and its minute expressions, to just be with her was amazing. Just amazing.

She was driving on her own street before she spoke. "So, um, Embry."

She had a low, serious voice and I was already enjoying it. "Yes?"

"How, um, are you planning on getting back to La Push?"

 _No secrets._ I rejoiced in that, that day. Absolutely. "I plan on running."

Her eyes widened and she slowed to turn in to her drive. "Running? But, Embry, that's miles! Are you some kind of marathoner or something?" She eyed me dubiously, starting at my feet and working her way up.

I waited for her to reach my eyes and smiled. "Nope. But, we run pretty fast, Bella," I reminded her, thinking of the day we had rescued her from that bloodsucker in the mountains.

She remembered, I could see as she cut the engine. Her lips parted and she huffed out a breath. "Right. Yeah."

I leaned closer to her, worried. "Were you afraid?"

"That day? Terrified," she admitted, muffling her voice in her shoulder as she turned to get out of the truck. "I thought I'd be, um, easier prey for wolves..."

It was stupid, maybe, but I was horrified. "Never! Remember, Bella, we're protectors. We are. We'll keep you safe."

She started gnawing on her lip as I came out of the truck to walk her to her door. My senses were on high alert, making sure that no scent of vampire was in the area. It was clean, clean with the scents of rain and earth and that distinctive vague mineral smell of water on granite. Wet pine drifted under my nose, too. Reassuring. Calming. Which was good, because I was feeling – still – incredibly light-headed with my imprint.

"I was wondering," she began, slowly, turning in front of her door before she opened it.

"What?"

"Would you, um, show me what you look like? When you, ah, change?"

I gaped at her. "What?" I had to have heard her wrong.

Color flared in her cheeks. "I was just thinking, you know, that maybe if I could see you, I wouldn't be afraid."

I studied her, wishing I knew her as well as Jake did. But then, an edged, weird jealousy painted my idea of Jake, which bothered me. No, I wanted to know her _better_ than Jake did. Much better. _I loved_ –

"Embry?" Her touch on my bare arm was electric.

I blinked, my heart thundering suddenly. _She doesn't know me_ , I reminded myself. Again. _Cool off. Cool down. Right now._

I focused on her face. "Are you sure?"

With a quick motion of her head, she convinced me. I nodded slowly. I wanted her to know me, after all. And since she was my other half, there were no secrets. I just didn't know if anyone else had ever had their girl ask to see this, before. It seemed weird.

Thinking quickly, I decided I could avoid hurting her if she was in the house, while I phased outside. Her house was bordered by woods. I could change in the woods and she could come see me. There'd be plenty of distance and she'd be in no danger.

"Come in?" she asked, waiting for me inside her house.

That was unexpected. "Uh, sure." Then I told her my plan. "But maybe you should towel off, first," I suggested, worried about the cold and the fact that she was soaked almost through, and worried that with all the surprises she'd had to deal with, she might get faint again.

"I'll have to get wet again anyway, I'll just wait. How will I know... How will I know to come to you?"

Concerned, I was, yes. But not about her safety. I was hoping she wouldn't be freaked out. I didn't want to frighten her. "I'll bark."

It was surprised when she laughed a little. "Seriously? You'll bark?"

Her smile was wonderful to see. Made me feel all kinds of better about doing this. "Yep. So stay..." I looked around the small first floor. "In the kitchen." I strode through it immediately, to reach the back door. "I'll be out there. Between those two trees, see them? The one with the low crooked branch?"

Anticipation lifted her expression. "Yeah. I'll wait right here."

I took her chin in my fingers and met her eyes. "You need to stay inside while I do this, Isabella. Promise me."

"I promise. And my name's Bella."

Smiling a little, I shook my head. "Not just now. Just now, I think you're _Isabella_. Strong and brave. Isabella sounds like that." As soon as I said it, I felt like an idiot. A complete idiot.

But...somehow...as I was cringing inside, I watched her expression. And what I saw made me think that she didn't think I was an idiot. Not _exactly_ , anyway.

"Stay here!" I called over my shoulder as I left her kitchen.

"Until you bark," she called back.

I loved that she was still laughing about that.

I jogged through the light drizzle to the trees I pointed out to Bella, my nerves knotted. What if she was afraid? What if she screamed? What if she fainted? I remembered Sam's memory of hurting Emily and how he was so unbalanced at having done so that he couldn't even phase back at first, to take care of her. I could not let myself get that upset. No. I had to make sure that, no matter what happened, I could fix it. I could phase back and take care of her. _No matter what._

Thinking that, I stepped into the shadows and turned back to make sure Bella was still inside. I could, if I closed my eyes and concentrated, make out her heartbeat. I knew it already. It was a little fast, but not too much. She was just – for some strange reason – really interested and even excited about seeing this. I didn't know why, but if it would help her understand us – understand _me_ – and helped her not to be afraid, then it was a good idea.

I stripped quickly, tying my jeans to my ankle as we all did. And then, I let the wolf out. Exploding, expanding, I knew how I looked not because I'd seen myself in a mirror, but because I'd seen myself in my brothers' eyes. Lean and gray with some black patches along my flanks, I didn't look quite like the rest of the pack. Sam was black as tar. Jake's fur was almost the color of his skin. Why I was gray was a mystery; didn't matter. It was me.

Was I ready for her to see me? Like this? I whined a little in concern. Still, the greatest concern – her safety – was assured. I was fine. She was still indoors. So, good.

I barked and took a cautious step closer to cloudy light at the edge of the trees. Just a step. The kitchen door banged open and Bella stepped cautiously out, picking her way carefully across the muddy yard. She wasn't looking for me, though. She was watching her step. She seemed to stub her toe on some small twig and just about tumbled. I almost dashed to her, to keep her from falling, but she caught herself and kept coming to me.

Closer. Closer. Finally, she looked up, seeking me. I dropped down a little, to a more wolf-submissive level. Lower than her head – hard to do, as small as she was – and I felt my tail wagging.

That was the strangest thing in the world, right then. When the _hell_ did I start wagging my tail? I hardly knew I had one. I barked again, laughing at myself.

"Embry?" Bella's voice commanded my total attention as she slipped between the trees I had indicated earlier. I could see her hesitate, for I was still in the green shadows and her eyes weren't like mine. They had to adjust for the light. "Where are you?"

I stepped closer to her, keeping my head down so she wouldn't be afraid of a towering werewolf. Chuffed a little to her. And damn if my tail wasn't still wagging.

Her voice was soft, no fear in it anywhere. I was amazed. She really was brave. "Embry Call..." She looked right into my eyes, just as she had on her front porch. "Wow. Okay. I remember seeing you, that – that day. You're really fast," she murmured, sounding not at all afraid, but more amazed than anything. I knew how that sounded, because the same feeling was pounding through me, too. Had been, really, since I'd first seen her eyes today.

She took another, wobbly step forward and held her hand out. She wanted to touch me? Stupid tail wagging again. She saw it and a sudden burst of the giggles erupted from her.

I'd been worried about her being afraid, but instead I was the one who was nervous. Why _wasn't_ she afraid? I was this big, powerful werewolf and here she was, running her fingers over my face, and staring into my eyes. It was weird.

It was terrific.

It was –

– _Embry! Enough!_

It was Sam.

 **\- The hard part is having to ruin your best friend's life...**

I dashed back into the shadows and phased fast, calling to her from where I was getting my jeans back on. "Bella? Hang on. Sam needs me to come back. You okay?"

"Yeah. Completely okay. Yeah."

As quickly as I could, I rejoined her and studied her face again. "Not afraid or anything?" She shook her head. "All right. Then let's get you back inside." As we were walking, I had a thought. "Look. We might be chasing this other bloodsucker – What did you call her? Victoria? – and I'll try to make sure I'm here to keep an eye on you, okay? But if it's not me, it'll be one of my brothers."

I heart her heart thud heavily. "Okay. So, um, no telling Charlie, right?"

I stopped at the kitchen door and let her get up the step. "Absolutely right. Thank you, Bella. One of us will be here, though. So if you see –"

She blushed. I didn't know why. "So if I see a big wolf, I won't freak out. Okay." I was on my way back to the woods when she called my name. "Embry?"

I turned, standing in the easing rain. "What?"

With a nervous motion, she tossed a section of wet hair over her shoulder. "Um. Thanks. For telling me all that. Is Jake okay?"

"You're welcome," I told her, because she was. "And I don't know," I said, because I didn't. "I'll find out and let you know, all right?"

"Tell him... Tell him I'm sorry I was so mad at him. I didn't know."

I nodded. "Get in the house, Isabella. See you soon."

"It's _Bella_!" she called. But, I heard her chuckling as the door closed behind her.

That was the last good thing about the whole day.

Back in my wolf skin, I first sought out Jake, but he wasn't phased so I couldn't hear him. _Sam_ , I called to the Alpha. _How is he? I didn't mean it, and I –_

Sam, who knew better than anyone that there is no choice in am imprinting, conveyed his sympathy for both Jake and me and the whole deal in just two words: _I know._ Then, he shifted mental gears. _What did you learn from Bella?_

I told him who the red-haired leech was and what she wanted. We'd have to get together for a strategy meeting, clearly. _And Bella will need to be kept safe until we've got this taken care of,_ Sam concluded as I kept running back to the rez.

 _I need to talk to Jake,_ I told Sam. _I also want to be with Bella when we go after Victoria. She'll need protection!_

Sam said he'd think about what was best for the pack. Thing is, he knew like I did, that I wouldn't have my head in the game unless I could be with Bella, same as he would feel if it were Emily that was under the crosshairs of some bloodsucker's sights.

He called us all to meet at Emily's house. She's his fiancée and kind of a den-mother for the rest of us. I turned to join the pack there, phasing as I neared the end of the woods before the clearing nearest to her house. I could smell roasted ears of corn... I was starving.

Sam was in front, meeting the rest of the guys as they arrived, directing them inside, but staying outside himself. Then, when I got there, he held up a hand. "Hang on. You, me and Jake need to talk about this." His gaze was dark and sober, and I could almost hear him getting ready to phase in case this got ugly.

I didn't want it to get ugly. I could only imagine Jake's anger and probable jealousy when I saw Bella earlier. I was the last person who'd betray him. Ever.

He arrived, his steps measured, his face set as he came through the trees. Part of me wanted us – and maybe Sam – to just phase and hash it out in our heads, with all the emotions and implications. But I trusted that Sam had us staying human for a reason.

I took a hesitant step to meet him, my hands out from my sides. "Jake, man, I'm –"

"I know," he snapped, his voice flat and dead. "You can't help it. I know the stories, Embry. I know Sam's story, too. I don't want to talk about it right now." He shook himself and looked me dead in the eye. "Is she all right? Did you tell her?"

"About what?"

"About the imprint." His voice was way too calm; it was unnatural. I didn't like it. And though Bella Swan was now the most important person in my world, I mourned the loss of my best friend's friendship. I felt like I'd lost it. Maybe not forever, but for now.

I shook my head, kept his focus with my own. "No. Told her about the whole werewolf thing, she wanted to see what I looked like –"

"You phased in front of her?" The furious exclamation came not only from Jake, but also from the entire pack and from Emily, whose high voice pitched shrilly over the rest.

Except for Sam, who had been in his wolf-skin when I was. He stood right next to Jake, ready to restrain him, when he said, "No. He didn't. I was with his mind when he phased, and Bella was in her house while he was in the woods outside. She did want to see him and she was not afraid." He eyed me curiously. "You said she _asked_ to see you like that?"

I nodded "I wouldn't have done it otherwise." _Of course_ , I didn't say out loud. As if I'd put Bella in harm's way on purpose?

"So she doesn't know?" Jake said, his hands fisted and his shoulders tense as boulders before an avalanche. I hadn't really considered, before, that he was bigger than I was. I was faster, I _thought_ , but he was probably more powerful. I reminded myself over and over to stay calm, even though my body was tensing for the fight that seemed inevitable. Jake's arms rippled and I could hear a snarl building in his chest. "She doesn't know that she's now part of The Great Quileute Mating Project?"

 _Oh!_ I saw red and almost lunged at him, but Sam got him first. He was closer, and he slapped Jake – seriously – on the back of the head. "Stop it, Jake. Stop it." Sam seethed; his Emily was the love of his life, now, however it had happened. Jake had no right to talk like that.

My fists clenched, too. I forced myself to step one step back. Just one. To breathe, deep and even. To calm myself. I was not going to hurt my friend when he was down. I wouldn't do that.

I swallowed and, finger by finger, relaxed my fists. Sam watched me. Nodded. He stepped back a little as well. Behind me, the rest of the pack collected themselves; it wasn't like this was a private meeting anymore. I didn't know what to say to Jacob. So I just started talking, hoping something would come out that would make it so we could maybe be friends again one day. When it didn't hurt as much for him, maybe. Now there were five of us in the pack and two of us had imprinted. Could be, like Paul had said once, that this was more common than we knew. Could be that Jacob might imprint himself, one day. And then none of this would hurt anymore.

"Look, Jake," I said, my hands not tense at all, my muscles relaxed, my instinctive anger having flowed away from me. "I don't know what to say. I can't. She told me, though, to tell you she was sorry she was so mad at you. She's not, now. She'll be okay. I'll take good care of her, I promise." I forgot about the audience, but they weren't being the obnoxious jerks they could be sometimes, so they didn't interrupt. "Jake, I can't even tell you –"

"Shut up," he muttered, moving with a sudden lurch forward. "Just shut up, Em. I know. I do. I'll remember." He turned, then, in between me and the rest of the pack, who were standing in front of Emily's house. "You remember this: She's only now maybe getting better from where she was when that – that _leech_ left her. You take it easy, bro. Real damn easy."

That much I had figured out on my own, but I didn't feel I needed to tell him. I was beginning to think that maybe an imprint was easier to understand for the guy who did the imprinting than she might be to even someone who was one of her best friends. Instead, I nodded.

The guys moved aside to let him into Emily's house before filing back in after him. Sam stayed with me. I heard him stretch tense muscles and roll his head on his neck. I imitated him; that tension relief was a good idea.

"Are you all right?" Sam inquired, his low voice calm. He had to be the most mellow guy I knew. You'd never know to look at him that he was who he was. At all. Authority sort of surrounded him. He didn't have to make it a big deal; it was just part of who he was. "With Isabella and everything? Was she afraid?"

"No, she was just mad," I murmured, not wanting the guys to hear. "D'you think I should tell her about the imprint?" I asked, feeling my eyebrows mash together while I thought about it. "I don't want to freak her out if we don't have to. At least, you know, any more than we already have, anyway."

Sam's chuckle sounded truly amused as he started back to the house. "She knows we're werewolves, Embry. She dated a vampire. She's still alive and, apparently, not afraid. I don't think we have to worry about that." Just before entering the house, though, he stopped and turned to me, his expression suddenly serious. "Will she keep our secret like she kept theirs?"

"I think so."

His nod was sharp. "Good. So, now tell everyone what you told me and we'll see how to kill that damn bloodsucker and keep your Bella safe."

I had a quick, vivid memory of Bella in that clearing with the black-haired one. She was so small. So fragile. But she hadn't screamed. She hadn't run. She had only tried to keep him talking. And she did, long enough for us to get to her.

She was _amazing_.

 **\- The hard part is being away from her...**

That night, I got to run patrol at Bella's house. First shift went to Sam, so he could firm up the plans we had discussed already that afternoon and do a fresh recon. I got the second shift. It was a totally different thing, protecting her, than it was protecting the rez and our families. I was proud, of course, to be able to guard my friends and family, but guarding Bella was something else.

 _She talked in her sleep_. And even though I didn't understand everything she said, from my spots around the perimeter of her home and the nearby woods, I got to hear her voice. It was great.

The next day, I felt at a loss without her. But I couldn't think of a good reason to borrow someone's car to drive up to Forks to see her, and I wasn't going to expose the pack by running wolf, either. So I just tried to help my mom around the house before going to see if anyone wanted to go diving or anything. No one did.

I started getting all edgy, though. And kept thinking I'd forgotten something. The sensation bothered me all day. That night, I was splitting the shift at Bella's with Jake. He said he was okay with it, and I had to believe him. It wasn't like he'd ever hurt her, and he had to patrol as part of the pack. And, he managed to say as he was running to her house, he, at least, understood her talking in her sleep so he wouldn't be freaked out by it.

I had NOT been freaked out. I had enjoyed it. But I couldn't tell him that.

I was able to fall asleep easily. There was a certain dream I'd been hoping to revisit from the night before. A really amazing dream. A dream about a brown-eyed girl...

And then it turned into a nightmare.

My brown-eyed girl was being chased by a red-haired vampire. The vamp could fly, in my dream, and was ready to scoop Bella in her stone-cold arms and dash her over the cliff, where her body would break and I'd never see her again...

The fury, the loss, overwhelmed me in my dream and woke me up. My eyes clicked open and my body exploded into a vengeful gray wolf. Forgetting my mom in the house, forgetting everything, I couldn't remember where Bella was. Her face was before me. Her face her face her face...!

I threw myself out my window, heedless of the broken glass that sliced through my fur. Howled my loss to the sky. Howled my fear, my need for Bella Swan. Where was she? I couldn't find her? _Bella! Isabella!_

Her name was all I knew. Her name and her face and her scent. Ever before me. I ran in circles, trying to find her scent so I could track her. Running. Howling. My heart pounding hollowly. _Bella! Bella! Isabella!_

Sam's voice intruded into my search. _Embry, Jake's getting her. She'll be here soon. Embry! Stop! Embry!_

But even his Alpha voice could not stop me. I was beyond his reach. My mind knew only that my Isabella was lost, lost, lost. I howled again in my misery and despair.

 _Bella!_

Not far, I saw my brothers, Jared and Paul. They told me, too, that Bella was fine. She was coming for me. To calm down. Find my human skin.

 _You don't want to scare her!_ Jared reminded me. _You don't want to hurt her!_

 _Howl!_

It seemed like an eternity of confused, flashing images without any references before I heard, _She's here! She's here, Embry. She's here._

From out of the dark and crazy place where I was in my head, I heard _her_ voice and my heart almost stopped. My paws skidded in the ground as I wheeled myself to make sure it was really her.

And there, seen only barely in the light of a crescent moon, was my Isabella. Her scent carried to me slowly, hesitantly, but it was enough to clear my mind and stop my howling. Her heart was pounding erratically. _She was terrified_. I would not allow her to be terrified. I threw myself to the ground, keeping my head on my paws, eyes on her, to show her not to be afraid. She was here and my dream was a lie and...

"Em - Embry? You okay? Don't worry. I'm okay. I'm _okay_."

Her voice was thin and edged with anxiety and that was wrong. She should never, _ever_ be afraid of me. Ever. I panted, pulling air into my body, pulling her scent to me to stop my worry. Whined to her.

I heard Jake, his voice in the trees, say, "Go ahead, Bells. You can go to him. He's all right now."

She stepped forward a few paces, her hand in front of her as it had been the last time I'd seen her, in the woods by her house. "Embry? I'm sorry. I don't want you to be afraid. Was it like a nightmare? I get nightmares, too. I'm sorry."

Tension ringed the moonlit clearing as she got close enough to touch my face. "All right?" Her heart wasn't pounding so hard, now, and I could hear her breaths. Now they were slow and soothing. "I'm sorry."

I didn't know why she was apologizing. She hadn't done anything wrong. I felt her touch, heard her voice, and my mind was instantly calm again. The world was turning properly. I hadn't lost anything. My sun was shining. I was centered again. I could think in a straight line.

 _Can you phase human, Embry?_ Sam wondered. _Can you, yet?_

 _I think so. Yeah. Better take her home._

 _No, we need to tell her about the imprint. Go change, Jake'll talk to your mom and then bring Bella over to my house. Emily will be waiting._


	3. The Hardest Part Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **The hard part is being 17 years old in this 25-year-old body...**

**The hard part is being 17 years old in this 25-year-old body...**

Bella didn't want to see Sam.

"No, Embry. I get it. He's the Alpha Male and all that. I passed AP Biology. I just don't want to talk to him."

"AP Biology? Cool. I'm having a hard time concentrating in Biology at school," I confessed. If it was bad _before_ I imprinted, I couldn't imagine how it'd be now... Already, I could see Bella's face with everything else I was trying to think. All day. She was in my dreams. All night. How was I going to be able to concentrate?

She cocked her head and looked up at me. She was wearing a pair of red sweatpants and matching tank top, with a brown jacket tossed over her shoulders. I was finally dressed in a pair of shorts and we were at the edge of Emily and Sam's yard. The moon had barely moved from where it had been when she had found me and I was trying to keep track of the time so she could get home before Chief Swan woke up. "Fine. I'll tutor you. But I am not going to talk to Sam."

"He's a cool guy, really, Bella. He is. He's doing a great job and Emily just loves him."

Just then, Emily herself appeared in the lighted doorway of her house, but you couldn't really see the scarred half of her face. "I do, you know," she called to us. "Come on in, Bella. I won't make you talk to Sam." She laughed a little.

Bella bit on her lower lip and tried to smooth her hair. I thought that was adorable. But still, I had to warn her: "Don't stare at Emily, 'kay? It's kind of a deal." It seemed natural for me to put my arm around her shoulders to bring her to see Emily. She even seemed to move closer to me, which I thought was terrific. She nodded, still chewing on her lip and I was really tempted to put my finger there and tell her to stop, already.

I didn't. I did, though, introduce Bella to Emily, and was relieved when Bella smiled a little and looked around to compliment Emily on the decorative canisters she had by the stove in the kitchen. Girl stuff. I didn't get it, but I'm just a guy.

"Embry, were you invited?" Emily inquired, a smile in her voice, if not on the pretty side of her face. "Why don't you go wait with Sam outside somewhere. This is strictly girl-time."

It must have been the relief that made Bella relax so entirely against me before straightening up. She sought my eyes and I tried to smile at her. I wasn't sure what the hell Emily was going to tell her about imprinting, but I did know it wouldn't be the hazy, mushy version Kim would have given her.

But then, I remembered how Bella had looked, the day in the rain when I imprinted on her and thought that yeah, it was probably best she got this from Emily. Emily, who hadn't wanted to be imprinted on.

At. All.

"I'll be right outside," I told Bella. "When you're ready, or if our _den mother_ ," I said, grinning at Emily, "gives you a hard time, just call my name. I'll hear you."

Emily rolled her eyes and I closed the door behind me as I went outside. I wanted to sit right on the other side of the wall. I was even planning on it, finding a dry patch and lowering myself to lean against the house, when I heard Sam's quiet steps.

"Nope. No fair eavesdropping. You're coming with me."

"Sam!" I hissed. "I can't leave her here. It's the middle of the freaking night and she doesn't know you guys. Her dad'll have us up on kidnapping charges or something if she's not home pretty soon."

Sam shook his head. "Relax, Embry. She'll be fine. Emily's not going to bite her."

I scratched the back of my neck, nervous. Edgy. "I'm real sorry for losing it back there. I don't know what happened to me."

"Emily and I were talking about it. Happened to me. Exactly once."

We stopped walking away from the house and I turned to face him, crossing my arms over my chest. "What the hell, Sam? You didn't tell us about that."

He gave me this disgustingly superior Alpha Male smirk. "I don't show you guys everything, you know. Emily'd kill me. Slowly."

I think I blushed, but I ignored it and relaxed my arms. "What does that have to do with tonight?" I could remember the terror. That feeling of being completely unhinged in my head. It was the worst. Well, not _the_ worst, but just this side of how completely freaked out I got the first time I'd phased.

"This is the thing, Embry," Sam said, all traces of that superiority thing gone as he cast his gaze above and beyond me. "I think we imprint to help us breed, like Jake snarked about earlier. Genetics, something. I don't know the science." He shrugged as if it were secondary to what he was getting at. "So with all the other things we have to deal with, there's this, this _mating imperative_. This need to be close to our imprint." He grimaced. "I'm guessing it's just to make sure we make the most of the opportunity."

I was unprepared for how that hit me. Positively and negatively. On the one hand... "Sam. What about her? I mean..." I hated to hit a sore spot, but I had to. "What if she doesn't want... You know. It's her choice, right?" I could _not_ imagine Isabella Swan just, pardon the expression, lying down for this one.

"Her choice," Sam stated, his voice layered experience. "She can say no, Embry," he told me, his tone softening just a hair. "You'll still be imprinted though. She just doesn't have to agree to it. But, since she came out here in the _middle of the freaking night_ to rescue you from some nightmare without even knowing what's going on, maybe you'll do okay with that, huh?"

I hadn't really even given any thought – any conscious thought, anyway – about that part of the imprint. So far, it had been overwhelming enough to have _seen_ her. On the other hand, now that he had thrown it in my face like that...

"Take it real _damn_ easy." Jake's low words came to me from the shadows not far from where Sam and I were waiting for "girl time" to be over.

"Jacob," Sam snapped. "What're you doing _here_?"

"I'm on the Bella Patrol tonight, remember?" Jake answered, striding out to join us, his face in a mask of pain that belied the sarcasm he was using. "Don't want to let anyone down."

I dropped my head, kicked the dirt with my bare foot. It was cool and damp, there under the sliver of a moon. "Jake..."

"I know. I know." He pushed out a huge breath and rolled up on the balls of his feet. "I saw what was in your head, man. I saw it. And I knew even before anyone else did that you'd need her so I was already on my way to get her for you, okay? So let it go, bro. We'll deal. Enough."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "All right."

Sam seemed satisfied that no one was going to be killing anyone else tonight, so he stepped back to the house, leaving Jacob and I standing around like a couple of trees. Big, brown and quiet. I was really surprised when Jake spoke.

"So, how're you doin', Embry? After all that?"

I shuddered with the memories of how my night had taken such a nightmare ride. "Okay. It's weird," I whispered, not wanting to stab that knife in any deeper. "As soon as I heard her..." _Smelled her, felt her touch on my face..._ "Everything balanced again. It was like I was on some kind of loopy roller coaster and couldn't stop. But now, yeah. I'm good." I glanced to the house and saw Sam's broad-shouldered silhouette at the curtained window. "Thanks, man," I said to Jake. "Really. That was messed up."

"Yeah. Well. Just don't let it happen again, huh? Don't know how often Bells is gonna want to take midnight runs out to the rez." I saw his teeth flash white for a moment in a grin. Then, he sobered. "Um. Her dad gets up pretty early, Embry."

"I know. I'm about ready to drag her out of Emily's hands, I think."

"What're they doing? Giving Bells a _How to Be a Wolf Girl_ lesson or something?"

"Stupid as it sounds, I think so, yeah."

His laugh was a little hard, but I gave him heaps of credit for trying, anyway. This had to be brutal on him. It'd probably be better in a few months or a year or...whenever... But not for a while. "If there is one good thing for me in all of this," he finally told me, after hard, fast, not-really-amused breaths came from him, "it's that at least it's not _my_ fault she's stuck in that house with Sam right now."

"Yeah, live it up, Jake. Thanks a lot."

"Maybe Emily should just have classes. You know, when everyone else imprints."

"You too?" I asked quickly, tossing a glance at him, thinking that would be the perfect solution for his current pain. There were actually _three_ of us, now, who had... Wow.

He opened his mouth, his intake of breath making me think that he was going to say something sharp and brimming with hot sarcasm when he stopped, clamped his lips shut and shook his head. "After this week, I can't really say _no_ to that one, can I?" Then, abruptly, he changed the subject. "Hey. You're on Bella Patrol for the rest of the night, right? You gonna be okay with that?"

I nodded. "Can do, Jake. I'm okay now. And...thanks. Thanks again."

He nodded, turned and sprinted for the trees again. I could hear him phase as he went.

I turned to the house, wondering how Bella was doing with _Wolf Girls 101_. Hoping that Sam wasn't bugging her. Sam really was a great guy, but I could totally see how he'd come across as overbearing, maybe, to someone who didn't know him.

The door opened eventually, and I came to meet Bella and rescue her from Sam and Emily. Emily shot me an encouraging half-smile; Sam was nowhere to be seen. Bella...

Bella's deliciously uneven lips were pressed tightly together as she rejoined me outside of Emily's house. Her hands were shoved in her jacket pockets, her hair brushed, now – Emily's doing, I'd guess – and hanging halfway down her back. "You all right?" I asked quietly as we walked away. I was trying to figure out how to tell her I was probably going to have to run her home... In my arms... The whole way. Unless she wanted to ride a wolf!

She was quiet for a while and I kept us walking in the general direction toward her house, just to make what progress we could. Didn't rush her for an answer, either. She'd talk when she was ready, I thought. "Embry," she said finally. "I'm not sure what to say."

Who would? "Okay."

"Emily told me that I didn't have to do or say anything, but that it'd be helpful if, if I let you see me every day. Talk to me. That sort of thing."

I winced inside. "Yeah. I'm sorry, Bella."

She stopped and looked up at me, her small face set. "Do _not_ apologize. You didn't ask for this. Neither did I. It's just the way things are, according to Emily, and we have to see how to manage it, right?" Very practical girl, Bella Swan. I smiled a little at her. She was amazing.

"I should have paid better attention in my English classes," I mused out loud.

"Huh?"

Embarrassed, I started walking again, my hands in my pockets so I wouldn't make her uncomfortable by wrapping an arm around her. My steps were silent, of course, but hers were unsteady, a little loud, and she stumbled. When she did, I helped to steady her but let her go immediately as soon as she was upright again. I could only imagine how weird it was for her to find out that a friend of a friend was all of a sudden in love with her for no reason, was bound to her by instinct, and was probably genetically tied to her to make strong kids.

It would be enough to make most girls scream and run. But not my Isabella. She just walked, probably wondering what the hell she'd done to deserve this, but not freaking out. Just wondering how to make it work. And she wasn't even angry.

"Embry..." she prodded, nudging me with her shoulder.

"What?"

"What did you mean you should have paid better attention in your English classes?"

Well, if she wanted to talk school instead of what had to be _really_ bothering her – it was bothering me! – okay. "I meant, Bella, that I don't have enough words to describe something."

"Describe what?"

I took a breath. Let it out. "You." My admission came on a whisper and I hoped she wouldn't laugh at me.

She laughed. I felt terrible. "Let me give you a list," she said, her voice surprisingly playful, considering. Before I could say anything, she started. "Clumsy, pale, plain, culinary, brunette, bookworm, introverted, shy, sleep-deprived... Need some more?"

With almost each one of her adjectives, I was shaking my head. "Stop it," I finally told her. "Those are not the right words. I might _not_ be a bookworm," I told her, "but I do have some basics."

She stumbled again while she was watching me talk. "See? Clumsy. That is totally me."

I had to chuckle. "Okay. Clumsy. I'll even go with pale," I said, putting my hand next to her face. "You know, compared with me."

"Plain, too, compared with you," she insisted, sounding as if it were a foregone conclusion, like gravity or something.

Silly girl. But it might not be the best time to try to convince her she was pretty perfect. "No. I'll have to find some new words, Bella. I will. But not now. I have to get you home."

"Oh, yeah. Um. Jake sort of carried me. It was – he's fast, too. You guys are all so..." I waited, my heart almost crunching in anticipation of her saying something about how weird tonight had been. How unfair it was for her to get stuck with this. With _me_... But she smiled a little. "Fast. Best word I've got right this minute, Embry, sorry. You're just all so coordinated and fast."

Relief blew through me with cool pleasure. "Well, if that's how he got you here, that's how I'll get you home, Bella. I'm on patrol at your place for the rest of the night."

"Patrol?"

"Told you we'd keep you safe, Bella," I reminded her. "Someone is at your house all night, every night, until we catch that bloodsucker." Catch her. Rip her apart. Torch the pieces. _Yes_. I was viciously ready for that.

She was gaping at me. "You mean, someone's outside my house? Every night?"

I nodded. "Of course. How else can we make sure she doesn't get to you?"

I heard her heart pounding, heard her swallow, and hoped she wasn't going to faint again. "I – Okay, that's weird, too." Then, she bit her lip and looked me in the eye again. She had a way of doing so, just like this, that made me feel vulnerable. Not in a bad way, but in a way that told me that she could see right through me. But since she was my imprint... I didn't mind. It was a good thing that she could. Maybe it'd even be the _best_ thing that she could. "I don't like the idea of you having to fight her," she told me. "Not you or Jake or any of the guys."

"Why not? It's what we're made for, Bella. Honest. We know how, remember?"

Her quick breath was audible. "Yeah. I remember. But that doesn't mean I think it's a good idea."

I laughed. "Well, we can talk about it later. Tonight, I have to get you home." _Well, here goes_... "I'm going to have to pick you up, Bella." She stiffened and I held still. "Jake did it... I promise I won't drop you."

"I'm not worried about you dropping me," she muttered, moving now, and shuffling her feet a little. "I'm just – just uncomfortable."

"I could maybe borrow Sam's car..."

"No." She _really_ didn't like Sam.

"Then I think I'm it." I was really glad about that, though, in one way. I loved holding her, loved the way she felt in my arms.

She eyed me warily. Then, with a slow nod, she stepped closer and I scooped her up to carry her in front of my chest. "Is this how Jake managed?" I asked, trying to speak lightly as I began to run through the woods. Not too fast. Not at first.

"Pretty much, yeah. He practically kidnapped me," she said, smiling a little. "Said you were having a bad nightmare or something and kept howling for me." She flashed me a remorseful look. "I really am sorry."

"That must have been really strange, Bella. I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't know – didn't know how it worked, with being away and like that." I felt uncomfortable. I didn't want to really look at her but I desperately wanted to do nothing _but_ look at her, all the way to her house. I wanted to run my lips over the cool skin of her forehead, bury my nose in all that shining hair that was whispering over my chest and arm and tickling my ribs. Feel those lips melding to mine...

I picked up my speed. I had to get her home before I made her more uncomfortable.

After only a couple of minutes, she asked, "How do you want to work this for tomorrow?"

"Today?"

She laughed lightly. "Today. Yeah. Want to come over or something after school?"

"I don't have a car," I reminded her.

"Um, remember the day we met? In Jake's garage? There were those two –"

"Motorcycles!" I laughed too, making sure I was crossing the highway without an audience except for the girl in my arms. "I do remember those, yes." Leapt the low rail and back into the woods we went.

"Well, one of them's mine. Jake's been, ah, keeping it for me. It's red. You can use it, if you want."

"Bella!"

"What? It works and stuff. Didn't Jake say you guys worked on bikes anyway?"

I shrugged, slowing down because we were almost to her dad's house and I didn't want to put her down yet; she'd only just begun relaxing against me. "I'm pretty good with an engine, yeah."

"So use it if you want, you know, to come up to see me. It's okay. I've only got one problem."

Only one? That was doubtful. I could think of half a dozen problems in the life of Isabella Swan and I didn't know her all that well. Not the details of her life, anyway. "What?"

"How will I explain you to Charlie?"

I chuckled as we came through the woods to the east of her house. "I'm Jake's friend?"

"Jake's friend who ...?"

She had a point. I put her down near the driveway and walked with her to the front door, keeping my voice low. "Jake's friend who needs a biology tutor?"

With a nod, she agreed. "All right. I guess you should maybe call first? Jake's got my number."

"I will," I told her, watching while she slipped a key from the eaves for the front door. "And Bella..."

"What?"

I did something I'd been wanting to do since I had first been able to phase human again that night. I cupped her face in one of my hands for just a heartbeat. "Thanks. For coming out for me."

She frowned, obviously uncomfortable, but nodded. "Sure, Embry. See you tomorrow. And be safe out there tonight, okay?"

I grinned and stepped back. "I will. Get some sleep."

 **The hard part is when it's not so hard at all...**

"Going to see Bella Swan again?" Mom called from the kitchen. "After school?"

"She's really a great tutor, Mom. Did you see my progress report?" I asked, to distract her. "I'm all with the B's now. She's really smart."

My mom entered my room, where I was shoving my books in my backpack. "And I'm sure that's the _only_ reason you spend every afternoon with her, right?" she asked, her mouth curled in half a smile. "When do I get to meet her?"

"Mom!" I shook my head and zipped up my backpack. "It's not like that. Really, she's my _tutor_. Jake's friend, remember?"

"And you're up to her house all the time, and you've given her truck an oil change..."

"Hey, I can't afford to pay her for her time, Mom. Least I can do is trade services."

"Uh-huh," my mom said, sliding my folded laundry from the basket to my bed before leaving. "I still want to meet her!"

 _Great_ , I muttered under my breath. Bella had not signed on for _that_. She hadn't signed on for anything.

Still, I reflected as I walked to school with the early morning fog swirling around my feet, she was being a good sport. And I'd become comfortable sitting with her at her kitchen table, while we both worked on homework, and she'd help me with something if I needed it. While we were there, I was able to hear her voice, breathe her in, and find out just who this girl was, that my mind and heart and body were sort of wrapped up around.

I had learned that she was shy, yes. But also opinionated. And funny. Smart went without saying. She was really patient with me and I almost never caught her gnawing her lower lip with worry anymore, either. On top of helping me with my school work, her part time job at the Newton's store, and doing her own school stuff, she also took care of the house and Charlie and – this was awesome – she was a terrific cook.

We'd spent a lot of afternoons around that kitchen table. A lot of hours. Weeks. It was almost May. We couldn't really use homework as my excuse to see her on the weekends. I had managed, though, to do pretty well on those days. I pulled patrol at her house on weekends. She'd poke her head out her window and wave to me. Sometimes, if she had a nightmare, she'd come out to the front porch and walk it off. I never asked her about the nightmares, though. We were getting to be friends, but those seemed even too personal for me to ask about.

Otherwise, life was really peaceful. The pack hadn't seen anything of that red-headed leech since the first of April, but we never tired of our vigilance. Plus, we knew where the Cullens' old house was and we kept a patrol there, too. Just in case they came back. School was a whole lot better since my teachers weren't disappointed with me. Sam was happier, too, since my grades were better. I didn't know who my dad was, but Sam did a pretty good job at the whole big brother/substitute father figure combo. Of course, he might _be_ my half-brother...but that was just one of those things no one ever talked about. Ever.

Jared caught up with me at school, his eyes alight just before first period. "Hey! You coming to the bonfire tomorrow? Bring Bella!"

"I hadn't asked her..." As much as I wanted to spend time with her – hell, I _needed_ to spend time with her – I felt weird about imposing myself on her. It wasn't like Jared and Kim, or now Paul and Rachel, Jake's sister. Or even Quil, who'd finally gone wolf like the rest of us. We knew he would, being Old Quil's great-grandson. He'd freaked out everyone by imprinting on a _toddler_ , for Pete's sake. It wasn't the same as it was for the rest of us guys, but he was still tied to her. We had all seen it in his mind. Kim and Rachel and Emily wanted to be with their guys. My friends. My brothers. Bella – Bella I knew was spending time with me because it was the way she was. She would help out someone if she could. By the sacrifice of her time and energy.

What did she get out of it? A friend, maybe? Yeah, maybe. Though I was – and wanted to be – so much more.

Still, it had been a terrific spring. Seeing her every day, uncovering the secrets that made her who she was. Learning what made her smile. Taking care of her car, gassing it up – never filling it, she would have caught on and made me stop – but just a few gallons here and there. It was a game to me, doing things for her that she didn't notice. She complained about people doing things for her because she was so used to taking care of everyone else.

"Em? Bonfire? Coming?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll be there, sure." Why not? My homework was caught up for a change...

"Bringing Bella?"

"I'll ask her, okay? Sheesh, Jared, give me a break."

I got an A on the test in Biology and managed not to totally screw up the pop quiz on Macbeth in English. After school, I hurried home and grabbed Bella's motorcycle to get to her. I always looked forward to the ride. I could let the wind clear my head, my nose. So that when I reached her, her unique scent pounded into me, low and deep and wonderful.

Stupid, maybe, but I loved it.

"I aced the Bio test," I told her when she let me in.

She beamed. "I knew you would. You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for."

"Nah, you're just a great teacher."

She blushed faintly, and led the way to the kitchen, where faded yellow cabinets shone with a recent cleaning. "Got homework today?" she asked.

"Actually, no. So I can just head out if you've got plans," I said slowly. I would, I'd done it before, but... "But I wanted to know if you were doing anything tomorrow night."

Hand on the refrigerator, she cocked her head. "Tomorrow? Uh, no. What's up?"

"Bonfire on the cliffs tomorrow night. Would you like to join us? All the guys'll be there. First Saturday of the month and all that. Want to come with me?"

"Okay. Sure."

We arranged a time for her to drive out and I left. I'd only been there a few minutes, but it was enough, really. I'd be spending time with her the next night.

I was on my way home, back on the rez, when another motorcycle crossed my path. It was Jake. He'd only rolled his eyes a couple of times when I told him Bella said I could use her bike to go up to see her. "Glad someone's using it," he told me. He really was a good friend to Bella, even if they didn't see each other anymore.

"Hey, Jake!" I called over the muted rumbles of our idling engines.

"Hey. Coming out tomorrow?"

 _Damn_. I just thought about it. I hoped that Jacob wouldn't feel like he couldn't hang out with the rest of the guys if Bella and I were at the bonfire. "Are you okay if we do?"

"We?"

I nodded.

He balanced himself on his bike and turned off the engine. I did the same. "I've gotten used to hearing you guys together in your head, Embry," he said slowly, his fingers gripping the handlebars on his cycle. "I'm not going to go ballistic or anything, if that's what you mean."

I shook my head. "No, that's not what I meant. I want you to have a good time, Jake, if you go. If my – our – being there is going to be a problem, we won't go." Bella would understand, I was certain. She didn't want to upset Jake, either.

He smiled strangely. He missed our old friendship too, I guessed. "What're we s'posed to do, Embry? Ignore each other for the rest of our lives? We've got some long damn lives to do that, you know?"

"So, you'll come?" I asked. "And you'll have a good time?"

His laugh was short. "I'll come. And I'll try to have a good time."

"Then I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

Solemnly, all of a sudden, he asked, "How's she doing, anyway?"

Cautious, because all of my instincts were geared to protecting Isabella Swan, I wondered, "How do you mean?"

Jake's eyes were narrowed, intent. "I mean, can you still hear her screaming on your patrols? Is she grabbing herself around the middle every other minute, looking like she's going to pass out when you're with her? Is she still so damn pale that you feel like she's made of porcelain instead of flesh? Does she sit in that awful dark silence anymore?" He hit his own thigh with a fist, obviously angry and exasperated. But not with me, so much. I had the sense he was mostly mad at the world.

I winced inside. He cared so much for Bella. And we'd all kind of kept him from her. All of us. "I'll bring her to the bonfire and you can see for yourself, Jake. I bet you guys could use some catching up time, anyway."

"Ya think?" he asked, his tone sour. "You know if she were just your girlfriend, I'd win her back, Em. Or I'd give it a damn good try."

I nodded, knowing that for a fact. "But she's not, Jacob. She's my... She's my _world_."

His expression collapsed for just a heartbeat. "Yeah, I know. So I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow night."

"See ya."

I had more than twenty-four hours before I'd see Bella again, but I had learned how to handle it. After my furious insanity when I'd been away from her, the rest of the guys knew not to test themselves so much. Jared made time for Kim – and we all knew about it – and Paul got to at least swing by the Black's house to see Rachel, and Quil went way out of his way to see little Claire, becoming her parents' and aunt's favorite babysitter ever. Of course Sam was with Emily, so they had every night together...

Parking Bella's bike behind my house, I decided to change my plans. Jake's streak of questions made me realize that my Bella was not quite the same as the Bella he remembered. She wasn't like that, anymore. She was bright and fun and sarcastic and insightful and beautiful to me. I wanted her. I wanted to win her heart, not just her time.

But I had to be careful. The only things on that list he rattled off that I still saw were the nightmares. Those, she had. They only made me wish that somehow, some way, I could be with her every night. Those nights...

I'd hear her shout. Scream. Cry... That was always the worst, when she cried. The first time, I had waited outside her house at the treeline, just to see if she was going to get up or what. All my senses were trained on her. On her heartbeat. On her footsteps. And when I heard them come down the stairs, I tracked her. And then, she opened the front door and I phased human immediately, slid on my shorts, and ran to her.

"Bella..." I whispered so she wouldn't be afraid. "It's me." Since I was at her side within a beat of my heart, I was able to catch the hitching of her breath, see the tears in her eyes. They made me ache. _She_ made me ache. Her hair was wild, and she wore old sweats and a t-shirt. "Nightmare?" She had told me she had them. We had even talked about nightmares in general – not hers, but how they could be so freaky – and I of course heard her involvement in her own. I remembered mine, too. Something she had seen with her own eyes.

"S- Sorry, Embry," she had gasped the first time she came out after I started patrol on her house.

"Shh. You came for me. I'm here for you. I'm right here." I held out my arms to her, but didn't do anything more. That was the instinct again. The extra idea of what I needed to do for my girl. For my Bella.

She came to me, even that first night. Took that step into my embrace and shivered against my skin. I was grateful to share my body heat with her that first night and every night after, when she came out. She knew she could trust me with her fears and her nightmares. She came out to me and I was there for her, like I told her.

"Embry..." she sighed. All my best instincts came to the top and I was just glad to be there to comfort her. It wasn't until later that the memories would strike me in more basic ways... Ways that had me stirring restlessly in my sleep, longing for her to lean against me again.

I figured that delayed response, too, was part of the imprint. And I was glad.

 **The hard part is wishing it could be more...**

We had decided that Bella would drive out to my house and then ride on the back of her motorcycle with me to the bonfire. She had said she missed it, the riding.

"Charlie'd kill me. And then lock me up. And _then_ bury me."

I laughed as I made sure she was safe behind me. "Then we better not let him find out, huh? Hang on!"

She did. I loved the feeling of her arms around me, of her face pressed against my back, her thighs wrapped around my hips on the seat. We would have to do this again. I drove the bike to the cliff, where we cut the power and walked it up. Jake's bike was there, as well as a couple of others; motorcycles made good sense, around here.

"Bells! Hey, girl! Long time, no see!" Emily, Jared and Paul all waved to her, smiles on their faces. I was really, really glad that I didn't have any weird memories that the pack had had to see about Bella and me. Everything was entirely G-rated. Which was more than I could say for some of the guys!

She smiled and nodded at some of the others who were already building the bonfire's base. She had brought some chips in her backpack, which she slid off so we could add it to the pile of munchies growing near Emily's feet.

"Find us a place to sit, Bella," I murmured over her head, "before we're stuck with the ground."

She laughed a little. "Thanks for the tip. Any reserved spots?"

"Lady's choice," I said, indicating the old logs and some rocks that ringed the fire circle. She picked a log, where she dropped her backpack to reserve a spot. Then, Emily beckoned to her and soon it was _Wolf Girl 101_ again or something as Rachel and Kim and Bella gathered with Emily. I grinned. It was kind of funny how they all congregated like that.

Of course, I guessed it was kind of funny that we guys got together, too, not too far from them. What we were talking about, though, wasn't funny at all.

Our voices were low, so that no one else could hear us; no one else had our beyond-human hearing. "Any new trail?" I asked Sam, who had been the last out on patrol with Quil before the bonfire.

He shook his head. "Not yet. But I don't think she's going to forget about Bella. Vampires just don't do that."

Our stories certainly said that, anyway. We all nodded. "How're we going to do patrols tonight, then?" Jake asked. Our bonfire might act as a beacon, after all, and Bella – the target of this unpredictable bloodsucker – was right here at the beacon itself.

We decided that, with our numbers, we could run off quietly in pairs for about an hour at a time. "You okay with that, Embry?" Sam asked, eyeing me carefully.

I nodded, flashing a quick look to where Bella was listening to some story that Kim was telling the girls. "So long as she's here with the rest of you, I'm good with that."

"All right."

Like football players, we broke our huddle and returned to the girls, who also left their "class" and paired off. Bella found my eyes and lifted her brow, as if to ask me if everything was okay. With another nod, I indicated it was.

And she smiled at me. Just as if we did that kind of thing all the time. It felt – amazing. I needed a new word. I really had to work on my vocabulary!

Someone had brought an iPod and some portable speakers, so there was music in the background. I settled myself on the ground in front of the spot on the log where Bella's backpack claimed her – our – seat, but she didn't join me right away. Instead, she and Jacob were standing together, about a quarter of the way around the fire circle from where I sat. I tried not to let that bother me, I really did. She and Jake had been really good friends, their dads were friends, and Jake's sisters had been Bella's playmates when they were all a lot younger. I shouldn't be jealous because they were talking.

But I was. Because I knew that he wanted her, and that he probably would have been her choice if it wasn't for my claim on her. She had understood a lot that _I_ never told her. Maybe Emily had; I didn't ask for details from that conversation back in March. Maybe, someday, I might...

Jake was being careful. I could see that. His hands jammed in his jeans pockets, he was just listening to her, telling jokes, hearing with surprise the fact that Bella was not going straight to college but was going to take a year off and work full time to save up tuition money. She figured she could save while living at home and then she could get a place in Port Angeles and she and I could still see each other often enough to keep me from going crazy.

Blew me the hell away, the sacrifice she was willing to make for me. I didn't deserve her. Not even close.

Still, when she and Jake quit talking, I breathed easier and hopped to my feet to welcome her back to me. "Log or the ground?" I asked, wanting to make sure she got what she wanted.

"Your choice," she murmured, unexpectedly frustrating me.

I rolled my eyes. "Please. Pick one. I _need_ for you to _choose_." Somehow, my frustration with her visit with Jacob came through in my question, roughening my voice. I clamped my jaw shut.

She held still and studied my face with more attention. "I choose to sit with _you_ ," she whispered, taking one of my hands in hers. She didn't do that normally, unless it was the middle of the night. "Okay?"

I held her hand and studied her, too. "Okay." I settled back down on the ground where I had been and she settled in behind me, one leg on either side of me so that I was between her knees, my legs straight out and my feet near the fire. I kept her hand in mine, though, since she'd offered it, and we held hands without saying anything else for a while. Sometimes, her thumb would brush my fingers, sometimes I'd brush hers. It didn't matter. It just felt...right. Comfortable.

We roasted hotdogs in the fire, ate chips, drank sodas, and joked around. I got up to do my patrol when it was my turn.

"Be back in a bit, Bella," I told her. "Maybe an hour or so."

"Patrol?" she said, though I hadn't actually told her what we were doing. She had seen the guys peel off over the course of the evening, undoubtedly. And return. And drink soda by the liter.

"Yep."

She frowned hugely and stood up to scowl at me. "I am really uncomfortable about that, Em," she told me. "Not the patrol, but the idea – the idea that a group of teenagers, mostly younger than I am – have to fight this horrible woman..."

I grinned into her eyes. "Bella, sweetheart, it is going to be our very great pleasure to bring that one down. We're really looking forward to it, okay? We'll be fine. Trust us."

"I trust you," she finally said, "but I'll worry anyway."

And then she gave me a quick hug that made my heart just jump inside of me. "Hurry back, okay? Be safe out there."

"You bet."

And later that night, having caught no scent of Victoria but having laughed and thrown food around and joked with the others, she and I climbed back on her bike and sped back to my house. Fortunately, the lights were off and my mom was asleep. _Got lucky this time._

Bella slid from the back of the bike and I walked her to her truck. "Thanks for coming," I said, feeling suddenly all kinds of shy. "It felt good to have you with us."

She smiled up at me and pushed some hair off her face. "It was good to be here, Embry. Thanks for asking me." And then, she wrapped her arms around me again, without a nightmare in sight or scent or hearing and I closed my arms around her, closed my eyes over her and just held her next to me for a while.

"See you tonight," I reminded her, because I still had the Bella Patrol over the weekend.

She pulled away with a small chuckle, and it felt as if her face was hot. Or maybe it was just because her cheek had been pressed next to me and the 108.9º body temperature. "I'll call if I need you."

"G'night, Isabella." I closed her truck door behind her and watched her drive away.

My heart was still pounding.

***Author's Note: There is more on the "mating imperative" in the follow up story to this one. It's called The Imperative and I'm still tinkering with my epilogue, there. LJ ***


	4. The Hardest Part Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **The hard part is finding out there's a chance...**

**The hard part is finding out there's a chance...**

I'm not sure what happened at the bonfire on the first night of May. All I know is that, after that night, Bella stopped being my _tutor_ and became something more. Something better. We still did homework together, but that was only because I was at her house. I often wound up invited for dinner, and we'd sometimes watch a DVD (she loved chick flicks, which is about the only thing about Bella that drove me nuts, even though I confess I enjoyed watching _her_ watch them) or riding on the motorcycle (I found her a helmet) in the twilight. We took walks, held hands, and when the sky was clear at night, we watched the stars. She loved watching the stars and she pointed out the different constellations to me while I held her against my chest.

It was...amazing.

"Embry, I have _got_ to get out of here," she told me one afternoon as soon as I reached her porch. The police cruiser was nowhere in sight, the sunlight was pouring down in wide swaths from the half-cloudless sky, and it smelled like June. "Graduation plans are just stifling me!"

Graduation. Only a week and a half a way for her. "I can only imagine," was all I could say. I was wondering what we were going to do for an excuse over the summer, a reason for me to see her every day that she could tell her dad... "What kind of plans?"

"Well, there's a big party that everyone's supposed to go to. At the Newton's." Ah, her boss. The Newton's son, Mike, was one of Bella's classmates. I had to smile over the incredible annoyance and discomfort that suffused her voice.

"Do you _have_ to go?" I wondered.

"Well, no, but my friend Angela _wants_ me to."

So she'd go. "I hope it isn't too awful for you."

"Will you come with me? Be my date?" she asked, her gaze tentative as it touched mine.

"Really?" Me? At a party with her school friends? We'd never done that.

She took my hand again as we stood against the counter in her kitchen. "Really."

"But, you've got all your friends and stuff, Bella. I don't want to get in your way."

She squeezed my hand and sighed a little before wrapping her arms around me again. "Really, Embry," she murmured against my chest, "you're the only one I'd want to be with."

I almost howled with pleasure. Really.

"So," I asked her later, as we were back on the rez and watching some of the guys go cliff diving from the rocks about fifteen yards back from the edge, "what are we going to do this summer, without the schoolwork thing?"

She didn't look at me, but watched Sam and Quil launch themselves from the top of the cliff into the dark ocean below. "Can we go cliff diving?" she asked. "I, um, saw you doing it, once. Could you teach me?"

"What?"

Finally, she angled her face up to look at me. "You asked what we could do, right? Maybe you could teach me how to cliff dive, Embry. I'd love to learn."

I felt my eyes go round in sheer surprise. "You?"

She stiffened. "Never mind. I don't want to be a bother."

The wind whipped her dark hair around and I caught it in one hand while wrapping my arm around her shoulders. "Bella," I said just behind her ear. "You could never be a bother." She shivered, then, and I smiled a little. I had the feeling that shiver had nothing to do with the wind. "I'll take you cliff diving," I promised her, still placing my words behind her ear. Her pulse quickened and I was glad she couldn't see the grin on my face. "Do you want to go before or after graduation?" The idea made me nervous, but only because I had had that dream of her being thrown into the ocean. I could help her jump into it. I'd hold her the whole way. Plunge with her under the waves. Bring her back up to the surface. I could do that. She would be totally safe. Which was what I told her.

Slowly, she turned under my arm to look me in the eye. Her own were shining. "Really? We could do that?"

"Sure." I could already see us doing it, actually. "So long as there's not a lot of wind. The surf gets dangerous, then."

"Wow," she murmured, her cheeks turning pink even in the sunshine before she looked away. "Um, then before graduation. As soon as possible."

"But," I said, pulling her closer up against myself, "what about the rest of the summer?" I really didn't know what to say or ask about this part. We probably looked like we were dating, yeah. I got that. We never said so specifically, but it was implied. We still had that time limit thing to worry about...

After about a minute, Bella relaxed a little against me. Then a little more. "Yeah. That." Now, she didn't look at me, but I could hear her heart skip a little unevenly. Was she nervous? I was.

I wanted, above everything, to keep her safe, to make her happy, to do and to be what she wanted and needed. I couldn't help myself, at first. It's part of the imprint. But now, it was more than that. More than just a compulsion. More than just part of what Jake had called The Great Quileute Mating Project. Crude as that label was, it was a little justified, I guessed. I wanted to give of myself to her. All of myself. But what could Isabella Swan possibly want or need from me? What, aside from my protection and the protection of the pack, could I possibly give to her?

We were quiet, thinking about the upcoming summer. My mom was sure I was dating Jake's old girlfriend. She wasn't unhappy about that, either. Being a mom, she liked the idea that her son had something someone else didn't have, I guess. It didn't matter to me, because she didn't know that there hadn't been any sort of competition involved. It was just instinct. And it wasn't fair to anyone, really. Not to Jake. Not to Bella. Not to me, either, though I was probably the happiest with the current situation.

Bella's parents knew about me, but I didn't know what they thought, or even what Bella might have said to them, so I decided, there near the sea cliffs as the guys came back up for another dive, to ask her.

"Charlie, well..." Her voice was wry, reluctant. I didn't push. Her cheeks grew warm again; I could feel them. I was glad she wasn't looking at me, because I couldn't stop smiling. "He isn't sure, exactly. He thinks that I just don't want to tell him we're... together. I, um, guess I'm not open enough with stuff like this, maybe. He likes you, though." She moved her head to smile at me and I felt her hair flow over my bare arms. Her scent wafted to my nose; I drew it deep into my lungs. It was wonderful. I could find her at her school with a blindfold on, I was pretty sure. If I had to.

She shifted her focus back to the cliff. "Renée..."

"Your mom?"

"Mm-hmm. She keeps asking, you know."

"About what?"

Her voice changed, and I guessed she was imitating her mother's tones. "Bella! So tell me more about Embry! Sounds like he's always over there. Do you have a picture? Are you being safe?" Here, her voice cracked into an embarrassed laugh and I hugged her closer against myself. My poor Bella!

"Tell your mom you're all kinds of safe. Cliff diving safe. That should make her happy."

She slapped me playfully. I could hardly feel it. "Ouch!" she said. "Embry, you're like a rock!"

"Yeah, a hot rock," I said, laughing at my really bad joke.

She laughed too, finally turning to meet my eyes again, with something I hadn't quite seen before in hers. "You are, you know. Hot."

"One hundred and eight point nine," I said, not willing to believe she meant anything than my body temperature.

I was pretty stupid. "Yeah, we've talked about that before. That's _not_ what I meant, though..." Her cheeks flamed.

Where was all this coming from? I didn't have any idea, but I sure as hell wasn't going to ask or complain. "Well, you're kinda hot yourself," I murmured into her hair. She snorted. "I'm serious."

"And you need glasses," she retorted.

"Nope, I've got perfect vision. Better than perfect vision. Even _night_ vision," I whispered, placing my words behind her ear again.

She laughed softly even as she shivered. "I'll keep that in mind."

I knew, all of a sudden, what I wanted to make her for a graduation present. I wasn't sure exactly what we were going to do for keeping me sane after graduation, but – but I was hoping that maybe it wouldn't be as difficult to figure out as I thought before. Maybe... Maybe it would actually be really, really _normal_.

Well, as normal as it got for a werewolf and his imprint, anyway.

 **The hard part is coming up for air...**

"What's that?" I asked Bella while she scribbled something on a scrap of yellow paper on her kitchen counter.

"Notes for Charlie. I didn't know how late we'd be out, so I already made him some dinner. These are the reheating instructions."

I looked at them over her shoulder. "Can't he just figure this out on his own?"

She chuckled, a tender, nurturing sort of sound. "He's terrible in the kitchen. Last time he tried to make spaghetti, he heated the sauce in the microwave."

"So?" I'd done that, and I didn't want her to class me with her dad in the reheating dinner department.

"So, he put the jar in the microwave. With the lid on."

"Ohhhh..." I winced, imagining the disaster.

"Yeah."

 _Dad - Out with Embry. Going cliff diving. Yes, he's really good at it and yes, I'm sure I'll be safe. Be back tonight. I love you! - Bella_

"D'you think he'll manage not to shoot me when we come back?" I wondered.

"I'll convince him to ground me, instead," she said, laughing up at me. Her eyes danced and my breath caught, just watching her. All on their own, my hands moved to cup her face, just to hold her smile. She was perfect. Absolutely.

She dropped her gaze and I let her go. Last thing in the world I wanted to do was rush her. I did, though, want her to fall in love with me. I knew it. And I guessed, now, that she knew it too.

I sighed a little. Let it go. "Got a change of clothes? You are, I promise, going to get very, very wet."

She pointed to a tote bag on the table. "Yep. And towels. Let me guess, Big Mr. Werewolf doesn't think he needs a towel?"

I laughed, totally appreciating her ability to set aside the tension of the moment before. "Big Mr. Werewolf will air dry faster than you could comb out your hair."

She arched one brow at me. "Nice to be some people. And yes, I actually brought a swimsuit. Though I didn't exactly see any dressing rooms out there..."

"We'll work something out," I assured her, my mind suddenly full of the idea of her in a bikini. Though I really, really doubted Bella Swan and a _bikini_ were ever even in the same room. She wasn't the type. Probably a one-piece, and I could hold a towel up for her so that she could...

 _No. Cool off. Cool down. Right now, Embry Call._

"Then let's go before it gets too cold!"

The seniors at her school, she had told me, were essentially done with their school work and were killing time until graduation next week. This, today, would be a great day to celebrate that. And when we got there, I found out that the entire pack thought so, too.

"Damn," I muttered, opening the driver's door for her to climb out. She always insisted on driving. I figured it made her happy, why not? Besides, it was her truck.

"What?"

"Remember that _no secrets in the pack_ , thing?"

"Yes..." she said, sounding wary and drawing closer to me than usual. Not that I minded.

"Well, I guess I kinda was planning our trip out here, last time I phased, and it looks like everyone is out here to join us." _Damn_. I had forgotten to tell them this was supposed to be a solo – well, one-couple – date! "Sorry, Bella." I caught Jared's eye and glared at him. They _were_ going to hear about this...

Rachel Black jogged up, already wearing a tank top and shorts. "Bella! Hey! We've got a little tent rigged over here, to get on some diving clothes," she was saying as she pulled Bella away from me. I saw the relief in Bella's face and smiled. Well, okay. I stopped glaring at Paul, anyway.

"She's really going to jump?" Quil asked as I joined the guys. "Bella? Never thought she'd be the type."

"Enough, Quil," I growled at him. "Don't even go there. She is very much the type."

Very seriously, Quil nodded. It wasn't a _rule_ of pack life or anything, but we all tended to respect the boundaries and wishes of each other's imprinted relationships. (Except the sex stuff. That always came up.) Those of us who had imprinted knew how fiercely we felt about them and how entirely defensive we could get of the girls. Even tiny Claire, who would be having a birthday that summer. She was going to be – ta da! – three. None of us made big jokes about that. Just some little ones. Supportive. It was almost an instinct.

"You can't start her up on this level," Jake said. He had arrived while the rest of us were scanning the waves at the bottom of the cliffs. It was completely safe to dive here, yes, but all of a sudden, picturing my Isabella as one of the divers, it looked a lot more dangerous.

I studied Jacob's guarded expression. Nodded. "No. I figured we'd use the lower ridge, there," I indicated with a finger. Half-way down was another shelf where some of us sometimes dove from, that we had all used when we first started. "Everything all clear out there?"

He nodded. "Just got off, yeah. Sam's on right now. Looks like it's all quiet on the western front."

We all groaned. Not one of us had been able to NOT use that phrase at least once since we had started a regular patrol schedule. I hoped to hell that we could catch Victoria soon and relax. I'd love not to hear that phrase ever again.

I caught Bella's scent – sun-warmed wildflowers – before I heard her voice. "All right, Embry. I'm ready!"

Quil's and Jared's expressions – the flash of surprised appreciation in their faces – barely prepared me. And I didn't feel all jealous about them thinking any "appreciative" thoughts about Bella, either. I knew where their hearts were. I also knew where mine was. It was totally wrapped up in Bella Swan, who came to me now, a towel over her shoulder, creamy skin making a breathtaking contrast to the warm browns and golds of her swimsuit.

" _What's your favorite color?" I asked her after she'd checked my biology lab sheet in late March._

 _Her lips pressed together briefly. Then, her shoulders relaxing noticeably, she sighed. "Brown."_

" _Brown?"_

" _Brown. It's... It's such a warm color, you know?"_

 _I remembered the feeling of her shining brown hair spilling over my arms, over my chest as I ran with her the night she found out about imprinting and nodded. "You're right. Brown is a great color. Very warm."_

I never found out why the question had made her all tense, though. And, heeding that protective instinct, I never asked. But today, seeing her in her swimsuit, I had to say she was right again. Brown was making _me_ warm, anyway! And that blush...! Very alluring. Even sexy. How far down past her throat did it go...?

"Leave the towel up here," I advised her, taking her hand. "It'll just blow away if we leave it on the lower ridge." I pointed to the diving shelf we'd be using today and she scowled.

"That's the kiddie dive, right?" she complained.

We all laughed. "Yep! And you're the kid, today, Bells!" Jake proclaimed, sounding _almost_ relaxed.

"Well, I _am_ shorter than the rest of you," she muttered. Then, she tossed him her towel and I led her down the narrow path, around a skinny coastal pine outcropping. The ocean's salt got me in the face and made me smile.

"Like it, Bella?" I called to her over the louder sounds of the winds and waves. "Is this what you wanted?"

She stood still on the shallow shelf, looking down into the water. "You said it's safe."

"Yep." I put my arms around her pressing her back against my chest. "I _am_ going to hold you for the whole jump," I reminded her. "So don't go trying to fly away, all right, Miss _Swan_?" Couldn't resist that one.

"Oh, like I've never heard that one before."

"Oh yeah? Who?"

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, so I've _never_ heard that one before. Can we jump, already?"

I could hear the sudden rushing of her heart, felt her breath come fast as I held her back to me. "Now remember," I said finally, "I'm hanging on to you. Even in the water. Don't be afraid."

Bracing myself for her shrieks, I picked a spot on the white-crested ocean surface, tightened my arms around Bella, and leapt into the air.

She did scream, but it was a happy sound, to my ear. Not frightened, but excited. I grinned as our feet hit the water, braced myself to absorb any impact, making sure that it was my more durable body that took the brunt of it. I felt her whole torso still as she held her breath. The water surrounded us, chilly and wild. It was such a rush!

As soon as I felt she was stable, I unwrapped one of my arms from around her and started back to the surface, kicking and feeling Bella's body just a little separate from mine as I moved. The sunlight beckoned through watery rings and then, all at once, we were able to breathe again.

"Wow!" she shouted. "That was amazing!" My favorite word for her. Without another word, she wrapped herself around me, her legs around my waist as I kept kicking to keep us afloat. "Thanks," she said against my throat.

And then – she _kissed_ me. Those beautiful, full, uneven lips, pressed against mine and I couldn't even think. At all.

I was so surprised, we went back under the water again, to emerge spluttering and laughing and hearing the assorted encouragements and comments and applause from the guys and their girls up on the top of the cliffs.

I didn't have to look at Bella to know she was blushing. I just held on to her and swam to shore, where I pulled her up against me to keep her warm. Of course, it was just to keep her warm. Right.

"You okay?" I asked, holding her in my arms, but nudging her head back a little so I could see those beautiful brown eyes. They were sparkling. Embarrassed, but not in a bad way. Just like – just like a girl who got caught kissing her boyfriend behind her parents' house...

"I'm more than okay," she whispered. Then she bit her lip. 'You okay?"

I had to laugh. "I'm more than okay, too." Most definitely. _I could probably find a lot of words... If I could think straight._

"Hope I didn't embarrass you in front of the guys," she said next. We still hadn't moved from where we'd come out of the water. I heard another set of screams and guessed someone else had launched themselves into the air. Still, I didn't move. Right there, right then, life was perfect.

Almost _too_ perfect. I probably could have used another jump in the Pacific! "No, Isabella, I think you just impressed the hell out of 'em, though." _My_ girl, _afraid_? Not _even_. "Wanna go impress them again?"

"Can we go from the top this time?"

I laughed again, pulling her against me and moving to the foot of the trail that would lead us back to the top of the cliffs. "Well, we have to, just to get your towel, right?"

"That's not an answer, Embry." Still, her arm came around my waist and I felt her slender fingers on my skin so I really didn't think she was too annoyed.

At the top, I looked for Jake, because Bella had given him her towel. But he wasn't around. Instead, Rachel called Bella's name and tossed the towel to her. "My brother had to go check on something," she offered as an excuse.

It wasn't a good one, but I saw in both the girls' faces that they knew that and weren't going to comment. I took Bella's towel and held it out for her to wrap herself in while we argued about jumping from the higher or lower cliffs.

And then, Jake reappeared as a huge russet wolf and every girl there but my Isabella – Emily was at home – cried out in terror. Especially when Jake howled.

That was no angry "you kissed the girl I love" howl, either, and my brief jolt of apprehension on that front vanished. This was the "bloodsucker" howl. We all knew it. We all recognized it. We all shouted to the girls to get back to the changing tent and get out of our way.

And then, we all stripped down and phased.

 **The hard part is watching her be way too brave...**

The images were immediate. The redheaded leech. Victoria! She was close! Coming over the water! That's where _they_ had the advantage. And she had friends...

We knew that she'd be coming for Bella, so Sam said that we would have to plan to defend the cliff where we were. I heard the other guys who had imprinted freaking out. They wanted to get their girls home and safe, but that would mean splitting up our pack and –

And Jake showed us that he'd seen Victoria. Not far away. And she was coming.

Panic threatened me briefly. Bella was in danger. In immediate, horrible danger. I had to see her.

 _Sam! I have to stay with her. I can't keep my mind focused if I'm away from her!_

 _All right_ , the Alpha conceded. _You stay in position and guard the girls. All of them._ Then, Sam directed the rest of the pack where to position themselves to meet the leeches whether they came by sea or land.

Me, I ran off to see Bella. The other girls screamed again, but she ran right to me, her arms stretched out to wrap around my neck as she buried her face in my fur. My fear for her lessened when I could feel her, smell her, and be reminded of just how brave she was, embracing a werewolf in the broad light of day. I chuffed at her and she moved to meet my eyes. Hers had tears in them. I whined.

"Never you mind about me, Embry Call," she murmured, her voice low and intent. "You just take care of yourself. I trust you."

 _Don't tell me not to worry about you, ridiculous girl_ , I thought, loving her so completely it staggered me. Almost like the day I imprinted on her. I nudged her back with my muzzle. She stumbled backward, but she steadied herself. "Come back to me," she insisted. "With each patch on your back intact, okay?"

I barked. She managed a smile and backed away. I turned and watched for Victoria.

Then, I smelled her. Bloodsucker. Leech. Parasite. I knew that particular icy repulsive scent. It was the redhead.

Instantly, I saw a flurry of images in my mind from the rest of the pack. Images of about half a dozen racing vampires, their eyes a furious red as they advanced on the wolf pack. They came as a group, to overwhelm my brothers.

But the redhead was not among them. She was – closer to me.

The growl started low in my chest, building in strength. She had probably sent her army to distract Bella's protectors, thinking to find her prey alone and hidden. She was coming slowly... I crouched low, prepared to leap at her, to intercept her as soon as I knew she was alone. As soon as I knew that she hadn't brought someone else who could take my Isabella away from me while I fought.

She was alone! I could smell only her, and that was enough to let me release my growl, to let her know what she was fighting against. In my head, I knew my brothers could see her coming. They were all fighting, but one of them could win, soon, and come to help me. One lone wolf... I would do everything I could to keep Victoria away until someone came to save Bella.

Just before I went just beyond the tent's immediate area, I caught a glimpse of a pale limb. Bella! Why was she out here? Her face was even more pale, her body vibrating with tension.

Victoria spoke and I glared at the leech. "Ahhh... At last. Here you are, Bella Swan... It's been so long since we played a game together."

I ripped out a growling howl and threw myself in front of Bella and the tent. Every hair on my body was standing stiff and bristling. Victoria fluttered back and forth, her attention on Bella, but I knew that she also watched me, for every time I shifted, she shifted.

And then, I felt the new tension in her posture and my lips curled back to expose my teeth. Teeth that could and would rip her throat out. Take off her head. Teeth that would and could end her threat forever.

"Victoria!"

 _No! Bella! No! No no no no!  
_

I couldn't take my eyes from Victoria! What was Bella doing? Foolish girl! What was she doing?

Answering Victoria's challenge, of course. From behind me, I heard her voice, loud and clear with scarcely a vibration to show she was afraid.

"Victoria!" she called again. "Why are you here? Why can't you let these people go?"

"People? Have you noticed this one in front of you? And they can go. I only want you."

 _No, Bella, no!_ My heart almost stopped and a whine issued from my throat as Bella continued to talk.

"You don't want me, Victoria," Bella told the salivating vampire. "You don't."

"James! Your Edward killed my mate!" the leech shrieked, her fingers forming claws as she drifted closer. I shifted, too, but Bella did not move. And I couldn't take my eyes off of the bloodsucker because Bella would be lost. Thrown off the cliff. And I'd be alone...

I howled again, just remembering the empty madness.

"He's not _my_ Edward!" Bella shouted, her voice less controlled. "He left me, Victoria. My death will not hurt him. Not like you want. It won't be a good revenge. He's not my mate!"

I heard, then, two of my brothers finish their fights. Destroyed vampire stench in their noses as they raced to me. Silently. All we had to do, Bella and I, was keep Victoria occupied until they got here...

 _Bella and I?_ I shook _that_ off in a heartbeat. What did she think she was doing?

Helping. Of course.

"Edward has been tracking," the dangerous redhead's baby-girl voice called. "Tracking _me_. I've led him on a wild chase!" Glee and triumph rang in her words. I heard Bella gasp behind me. "He'll be too late, though, won't he?" the bloodsucker gloated.

And then, she must have heard my brothers' approach. She leapt high into the air, turning to see them as they ran around the rocks to us. The girls in the tent were weeping and wailing by this time, unable to see but able to hear everything.

I leapt to intercept the leech as she threw herself unexpectedly closer to Bella. _My Bella! No!_

"No!" Bella shouted. "Stay away from him! He has nothing to do with it!"

 _Bella! Get back!_ I howled, but she didn't understand. _No!_

I felt her move, felt her feet stumble as Victoria landed. But Victoria, in maneuvering away from my brothers – it was Jake and Sam and they were huge and more threatening maybe than I was – landed too close to me.

Big mistake.

As Bella ran toward the cliff, Victoria tried to chase her and took her eyes off me. Bigger mistake.

And as Bella reached the edge of the cliff, my girl looked back at me over her shoulder, giving even Victoria pause as she savored what she thought was her victory.

Bella yelled, "Get her, Embry!" just before she jumped!

I felt as if my chest ripped apart from within when I saw my Isabella jump. The pain was excruciating! But I knew what I had to do. I had to get Victoria. She was close. So close... Watching to see if her prey had in fact leapt to her death, I imagined. She was distracted.

I snarled. I leapt. I caught her head in my jaws.

And my brothers reached me and we ripped Victoria into little, tiny pieces.

 _Go, Embry!_ Both Sam and Jake shouted silently in my mind as I stood, almost numb, when the threat that was Victoria was over. _Bella. Bella. My Isabella._ _Strong and brave and..._

"Embry! Help me!"

 _Isabella!_

With a yelp, I almost jumped the cliff myself, but changed my mind and ran down to the water line instead. Easier to be a wolf on the dry land... Down the narrow path. Down to the beach. "Embry!" Pain lined her voice, but even that was preferable to never hearing her voice again. I tried to find comfort in that.

Inside I was a mess, though. Most of all, relief washed through me. Relief that she was alive. Yes. In spite of everything. Relief. Then there was anger. Fury, even, for endangering herself. Trying to what, negotiate? With a leech? Foolish girl! And then to jump off the cliff? What the hell had she been thinking? And then, there was amazement, as always. Was any girl anywhere as brave as my Isabella?

There she was, clinging to a rock. I phased, not even thinking about the nudity thing and her being right over there. I did, though, slip my shorts back on before I swam to her. She wasn't in any immediate danger; she just looked stuck.

So I lit into her. "What the hell was that stunt?" I demanded. She was on the other side of a tiny sheltered cove, clinging to a rock, half in and half out of the waves.

She scowled at me. I found myself wanting to smile all of a sudden. It was _great_ that she was scowling. It was great that she was _breathing_. "That _stunt_ was me getting out of the way so you could kill her without worrying about me." She lifted her head up a little, her brow raised in a way I found just perfect. "I guess it worked?"

I chuckled as I slid her from the rock and towed her back to shore. "Yeah, it worked. You're brilliant, okay?"

Her laugh was soft and a little breathless. "I know."

As soon as I could, I walked, carrying her in my arms to the rock-lined shore. "Anything broken?"

"Not today. Abraded, maybe..."

"Bella!" Putting her down, I immediately started looking for abrasions to see how bad they were.

She stopped me. It wasn't that hard for this particular tiny girl to stop a six-foot, four-inch guy. All she had to do was smile in that shy way she had and wrap her arms around my waist, pressing her small hands on my back. "Thank you, Embry. I mean, it probably won't hit 'til later, and you might find me a crying disaster or something while you're on – Oh, wait..." The little worried V in her brow startled me. She had nothing left to worry about.

"What, sweetheart?" I asked, pushing a section of salty wet hair from her cheek. "You're safe, now. We got 'em all. All of 'em. I promise. Sam and Jake are setting the leeches on fire right now, so they'll never, ever bother you again. I promise."

"You won't be on patrol tonight, then, right? I mean, there's no more reason."

I didn't understand the sudden sense of sadness in her whole body as she rested her forehead against my chest. Wasn't she relieved – thrilled – that her life wasn't threatened any longer? "Right. You're _safe_ , Bella." She nodded. "So what's bothering you?"

"Nothing. It's stupid. Sorry. Um. Can we go back up? I wanted to thank –" She tried to move out of my arms.

I didn't let her go. "What _is_ it?"

I heard her swallow. Felt her heart thud unevenly between us. Then, her soft whisper floated up to my ears. "You won't be there at night, now... But, but that's good, right? So you can actually get some sleep on the weekends, right?"

I didn't know what to call the feelings that flooded through me just then. Didn't have big enough words, I guessed. I could only hold her closer. "Want me to come by?" I murmured after a minute.

"You need to rest, Embry. You've had a hard day. Jumping off cliffs, killing vampires..."

"Just one," I reminded her, fiercely proud of having been able to do so for her. "I'll come, Isabella. I'll come tonight."

I nudged her chin with my finger so I could fall helplessly into the melted chocolate pools of her eyes. I fell and had no intention of ever finding my way out again. Slowly, I lowered my head, closed my eyes, and touched her lips with mine.

It was supposed to be a reassuring kiss. At least, that's what I was going for. But then, she trembled against me, pressed her nearly naked body into mine, parted her lips and...

I would have fought ten Victorias to be rewarded with such a kiss.

 **A/N: Thank you to everyone who's been adding my story to their favorites lists. :-) There's one more installment in this story, from a different POV.**


	5. The Hardest Part Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _**A/N:** _ _Thank you for the wonderfully kind comments and the compliment of adding me and/or my story to your favorites lists! :-)_

_  
**A/N:**   
_   
_Thank you for the wonderfully kind comments and the compliment of adding me and/or my story to your favorites lists! :-)_

 _When I wrote this originally, I liked my ending, but I knew that it wasn't quite over, yet. I was compelled to bring Edward back. I always had this idea that he would return at graduation to check on Bella, his promises to disappear notwithstanding. (Truly, every fic I've done in this kind of AU has Edward show up that night. Weird, eh?) This story is called The Hardest Part for a reason... I think, really, the hardest part isn't Embry's at all. He gets the girl, at the end. The Hardest Part ... belongs to someone else._

}-

 **The hardest part is letting go... (EdPOV)**

"Now remember," I told Jasper, "I need to know exactly what she's feeling."

 _Edward_...

"You know she'll say what she has to, to spare me, like she used to do. I need you to make sure I know the truth."

 _I understand, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel like spying on her._

I frowned. Wanted to apologize, but I couldn't, really. Bella Swan's track record of lying or evading the issues to spare my feelings and the feelings of others was legendary. I would not be dissuaded by her maneuverings. I would have the truth.

We were waiting outside of Bella's house. Finally. The dark rectangle that was the portal to my personal sanctuary was was closed, but I had seen her not long ago at the Newton's graduation party. I had seen her as I had been used to seeing her, back when we first met in the middle of her junior year at high school. I watched her through the medium of the eyes and thoughts of others.

She was magnificent. Beautiful. Breathtaking. And eight months and twenty-one days older than she had been the last time I had seen her. Dressed in a deep green party dress, her hair pulled back in a clip and hanging in thick, shining waves almost to her waist, Bella Swan was the most extraordinary girl at the Newton's party. I was not the only one who thought so.

 _Damn it, why does she always hook up with a guy that looks like he'd rip my head off if I asked her to dance?_

 _Well, if we wind up at the same college in the fall, I'll totally be trying to remind her that real men don't have to be seven feet tall._

 _Come on, Bella baby. Just sit on the barstool, honey. Cross your legs... Flash me some skin..._

Ugh! I did not need to hear that. Anger surged and I was so tempted to join this little graduation party and –

 _Watch out, Edward... Settle down, already._

I watched and saw a man approach her. A tall, lean man with red-brown skin and short black hair. He strode through the crowd of graduates to Bella's side and settled his arm around her, offering her a can of soda.

 _Wow, that must be her new boyfriend. She looks so happy..._

Angela Weber's kind mind was always a reliable place to be. Even when she saw the boy... No, not a boy. Not that one. Bella? And him? He was... Probably from the Quileute Reservation. Taller than anyone at the party, he looked awkward, from Angela's eyes. Awkward, but intimidating. A man who has been tested, clearly. He was uneasy but unwavering at his place at Bella's side. Angela liked him. _He's really nice-looking, too. She deserves to be happy. I'm so glad she found someone. He must be older. I wonder if he's in college? Maybe that's why we haven't seen her much lately?_

 _Edward_ , Jasper had said, intruding on my moment of watching Bella. _You've got the most conflicted emotions I've seen around you since we left Forks._

Now, in the trees outside of her house, I asked him what he meant.

He rubbed a finger down the bridge of his nose as he studied me. _Happy. You're happy. I know part of it is because we're here and we'll see her, but part of it is this satisfaction. A sense of pride. And then you're also absolutely miserable. And all of these emotions are completely braided together, Edward. I'm getting a headache._ His smile was rueful.

"It's probably not going to get any better, Jazz, sorry," I said at a sub-audible level. It wouldn't, for sure. We were waiting at Bella's house so that I could see her. I had been desperate, but I stuck by what I said, for the greater part. I wanted her to have a safe, human life.

The lights were off at the Swan's place, which told me that Charlie thought his daughter was safe with her date. The boyfriend whose hand was always twined with Bella's at the party. I remembered the summer she and I had had before her senior year... Lights on, every night, reminding me that Charlie was up and waiting.

He never knew we spent most nights together in her room... Nights I still longed for with every sunset.

I heard a motorcycle come up the road, but ignored it until it turned right into Bella's drive. A motorcycle? Shock widened my eyes and I heard Jasper catch his breath.

 _Bella? On a bike? Our Bella?_ His incredulity was obvious. There she was, though, in the dark green dress with a red helmet over her mahogany hair, plastered against her date's back, arms wrapped tightly around him. Jealousy burned with acid edges around my dead heart. It was counteracted, though, with that bizarre satisfaction Jazz had mentioned.

With our excellent sight, we saw the big man cut the engine and hit the kickstand with his heel before helping Bella with her helmet. He slid with athletic grace from the cycle and turned to actually pick Bella up so that she never had to make an awkward dismount. Instead, she was lifted high enough for her legs to come appropriately together before...

Before her arms wound around his shoulders and her lips met his. I swallowed.

"Jazz?" I rasped.

 _Want some help?_

"No. Just tell me."

 _She's happy, brother. She is. And from him... Well, he loves her. Adores her. It's pulsing from him in waves. Protectiveness and security and something... Something I don't ever remember seeing before. A permanence?_ He almost leaned out of the trees, trying to figure it out. With a gesture, I held him back. I wanted to get a read on the situation before I went out to meet her. _And, obviously, there's a big eros component, too. For both of them._

Obviously. I bristled.

I took a moment and listened to the man's mind. The man who was holding my Bella. At first, his mind was just a haze of love and desire. Few coherent words, but his thoughts were very possessive. _Mine. My Isabella. So worth it. Beautiful. Amazing. Brave. Mine..._

I had to clear out of his head for a few moments just to catch my breath again. It was so...vivid. Images of Bella in a brown bathing suit, pressed up against him... Under the water, laughing, her lips on his... Brushing hair out of her face at her kitchen table. Her eyes serious, a pencil tucked behind her ear. All of these flashed in the young man's mind like brief movie clips, scattered, but centered wholly around her.

And his hands... His hands never moved on her. He held her steady. So in spite of all of that...enormity of desire...he was not overstepping. I was unwillingly impressed. I knew how difficult it was to restrain oneself when kissing Bella Swan...

Finally, he set her gently on the brick drive.

"One more thing," he was saying, his voice as deep as he was tall. "I made you a present."

She hated presents. I kind of hoped she'd spurn his. But then, I could see it in his mind. It was a... A scroll? With her name? Done in some kind of graphic-writing design with her first name running down the left side and ... I heard him thinking that he had certainly found better words and maybe, by her birthday, he'd add her middle and last names, too.

"Close your eyes," he told her when they reached the front porch.

Without arguing, she obeyed and held out her hand.

 _Wow_ , Jazz thought. _How'd he get her to do that?_

I swatted him with my hand. How _had_ he, though? Still, there she was, waiting while he retrieved a woven bag from over the window, where he had apparently stashed it earlier in the evening. Before the party.

I had seen the gift in his mind, so I just watched Bella open it, watched her face light up, her smile brimming over with – with something, anyway. Was it the same smile she had had for me, once?

Angling a look at my brother I gestured that I'd like to know what she was feeling. _She's going to cry. It's a good thing. Appreciation and pleasure. Also, naturally, a reluctance. But she is pleased and surprised._

I'd seen enough. "Let's go interrupt them."

 _Are you sure?_

I nodded.

I sifted through my words as we left the trees to make our way across the yard to them. My apology. My confession. I had not come home to quite the same girl as I had left. I had lied blasphemously to try to keep her safe. Keep her human. And here she was, safe and human. Though part of me hated to see her in _quite_ this condition of happiness, I was also feeling pleased for her and even proud of myself. I had done something right.

The other parts of my ideas I was burying inside myself. I could not ask to re-enter her life. Not now. Not when it was obvious she had had to make something new for herself without me. But... how would I go on, without her?

I had to talk to her. And maybe even to him. Just so I could make sure.

We were quiet, but still the man with Bella heard our steps and pulled her instantly behind him. He inhaled and I thought I heard him... growl.

"Get in the house, Bella," he murmured. _Damn bloodsuckers. Can't you leave us alone? I thought we got rid of you over the weekend!_

What? In his mind, I saw... Victoria! And about half a dozen newborns! _No!_

"What the hell?" I shouted through Jasper's obvious effort to calm me.

"Get in the house, Isabella," the man insisted. "I guess I can handle two more leeches this month."

"Embry, no!" Pale hands clutched the Quileute's forearm. "No. This is Edward and that is Jasper, his brother. They're Cullens, Em. Don't forget the treaty."

I finally caught it. That acrid stench that had failed to reach me because of the still, heavy air. "Wolf!" I managed.

Beside me, Jasper stiffened, but still, he held my biceps in much the same way Bella was holding on to the werewolf.

Werewolf! Safe? I thought she was safe? Could I have been _more wrong_?

 _Edward!_ Jasper's voice rang in my mind. _Careful!_

I inhaled. Tried to calm myself. Found my calm in Bella's wide brown eyes. Still, I swore under my breath. Bella didn't hear me, but the mongrel did.

"Embry," Bella said, her voice low and smooth. A voice that had had to make far too many explanations in the past year, I could hear in its patience. "You've heard me speak of Edward."

"Not recently," the young man said, his voice not quite as much a growl as it had been. In his mind, I saw Bella's window. Open. Heard her voice calling my name brokenly, in her sleep...

Wincing, I glanced at Jasper.

 _He's angry, yeah. She's... Oh, Edward. She loves you._ Surprise and wistfulness tinged Jasper's mental voice. _She_ loves _you_.

I was stunned. Speechless. I could only stare at her, because that emotion was nowhere evident in Bella's demeanor.

She cleared her throat. "Edward, Jasper, this is Embry Call. And yes, he's a werewolf." She offered me a wry smile that brought out the dimple in her chin. "And yes, he's my...my boyfriend."

 _Something else is going on, here, Edward. Some kind of textured devotion. What is that shading of emotion? That permanence? It's affecting her, too. I don't understand it._

We all stood there in awkward silence. Well, silence of the ears, anyway. Embry Call's mind was anything but quiet. _Edward Cullen!_ And images of Bella... Pale, eyes in such a shadow as to make her seem like an ill-fed vampire. Thin. Pasty, even. _He did that to her!_ Embry's thoughts were clear on that score. He saw, too, her image in the forest, curled up and near catatonic. _Sam knows. He'd kill him. He really would. Except for the treaty. Damn stupid treaty_.

I made another decision. "Bella. I'd like a chance to talk to you, if I may." Very polite. Distant. My body throbbed, though, as her scent reached me. I heard her heart skip a little, stuttering as it used to do. And I remembered, suddenly, that it hadn't done that when she was kissing Embry Call. I would have _heard_ that. The sound called to my very center, making my tearless eyes burn.

I had so much I had to make right between us. And even then... What could I offer her?

Better than a damned werewolf!

"Give us a few minutes?" she asked me after a moment spent gnawing her lower lip. "Please?"

Much as I hated leaving her with the odiferous dog, I nodded. Jasper and I backed into the trees and I tried to give them some privacy. She had asked. I would not try to hear his thoughts. I would not. I would sit here and wait and not watch. I owed her that much, since she had asked.

I could hear their voices, though. Couldn't help that.

"Isabella, are you sure?" Hostility pulsed in Embry Call's question.

A sigh. Hers. I knew it and would always know it. "I am."

"But after what he did to you..."

Another silence. I could only imagine what was happening, and my imagination was far too vivid regarding Bella.

"I'm guessing that's why he's here, Embry. I'll be all right. The man with him? Jasper? He'll keep an eye on Edward." I heard the smile in her voice and imagined it, curling her pink lips just at the corners.

I rolled my eyes. I would bet my Aston Martin she said that just for my benefit.

"I'd rather stay."

"Do you trust me, Em?"

Another far-too-busy silence. Another sigh that had me clenching my fist. "You know I do. Will you call me? Later? So I know you're all right?"

I heard a soft laugh. "I might have another nightmare. You'll be the first to know."

Then, I heard his laugh. It was layered with understanding and sympathy. And even a little humor. "All right."

"Thank you again. For my present. It's just beautiful."

Another one of those silences. I was going to break a tree, I really was.

 _Temper temper, Edward. Remember..._

I pushed out a harsh sound. "I know. It's what I wanted for her." But it wasn't. Embry Call was hardly _human_.

"All right, bloodsucker. You can come out now." The tone was conversation-level, and I knew then that Embry Call knew I was listening, too. The roar of the motorcycle was my cue to return to Bella.

 _Go on, Edward. I'm right behind you._ Jasper was conflicted, I heard in his thoughts. He felt this was and should be a private conversation, but I had asked him to be with me so he wanted to support me. _She's anxious but I see her calming herself._

"Edward," Bella said quietly, her fingers laced in front of her. "This is something of a surprise. Good evening, Jasper," she said, with an apologetic smile for my brother. "It's good to see you."

If I had had a functioning heart, it would have been pounding erratically by now. "I'm sorry to have interrupted your evening, Bella," I began. "I just had to – had to see you again."

She stiffened. "Okay?" Her heart fluttered. That precious sound that meant the world to me. "How is everyone?"

"Everyone misses you," I told her. "Especially me." I had to tell her. Had to. I kept waiting for the anger to seep through her calm, but I didn't see it. "I – I couldn't keep my promise to you, Bella."

"Which one was that, Edward?" Still, no outward signs of any emotion, but the beat of her heart had always been my key to understanding her emotions... "I, um, found my stuff. Under the floorboards. Thanks for not taking it away entirely."

 _She's sad; that_ hurt _her to say, Edward._

I winced visibly. "I couldn't, Bella. I — I'm sorry."

A small smile on her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Sorry? For _not_ stealing my stuff?"

"Sorry for leaving. Sorry for lying to you." It was my voice that was shaking. "Most of all, sorry for hurting you. I – I only wanted you to be safe. To be happy."

"To be _human_." The finality of those three words brought me up short, sent the rest of my explanations away, somehow.

She took a step toward me, with a quick glance at Jasper, who nodded absently. I could hear him marveling over her emotions. "I'm not sure what the lie was, but I have some idea," she said. Her perception had always been acute. "And yes, Edward, it hurt. More than a lot. More than I would wish on my worst enemy."

 _She's not angry. She's wistful, calm, and she still loves you. I don't know how she's doing this, Edward. I really don't._

Bella's glance flickered to Jasper, and the smile on her face was more sincere. "Am I confusing you?"

Jazz gasped. So did I. "Bella...I..."

"Why'd you come tonight, Edward?"

Such a simple question deserved the most basic answer. "Because I need you Bella. Because I love you. I never stopped. My life isn't worth anything without you." My knees – my knees! stone as they were! – almost buckled under the force of my emotion.

I heard her heart stutter. Stop. Start again. Heard her swallow. Hard. Her eyes closed and she pressed her fingers to her delicate temples.

 _Conflict. Huge waves of it. Sorrow directed at you. Sympathy. Empathy, even. Forgiveness, too, but damn it, Edward, you still better ask for it or I'll take you apart myself._

"Edward," she said, her eyes still closed. I was reminded of the day in Biology when Mike Newton asked her to ask him to a dance. She said my name with her eyes closed that day, too. "I'm – I'm sorry. I – I know how that feels. I do. And I'd fix it if I could, but I can't."

 _Ask her, Edward! Now or I_ will _hurt you. Bella Swan will always be my little sister and you hurt her. Look at her, you still are!_

Remorse and profound shame swept through me at the truth of his words and at Bella's words, posture, and the rapid beating of her heart. "Can you forgive me?"

Her eyes flew open, unguarded. "Forgive you for what?"

I inhaled raggedly, my hands in fists at my sides. What I wanted was to close the distance between us and hold her, run my fingers through her hair, inhale the throat-burning scent of her. But I couldn't. "For lying. For leaving. For saying that I didn't want you. That I'd leave you alone."

She nodded slowly in a long silence. "Of course, Edward. I understand, now, you were trying to do the right thing. I remember, once, you told me that you thought you – thought the proof –" She shook her head, a draping of hair moving softly about her shoulders. "I can't say it right."

"Bella," I began.

She held up a hand in a gesture so familiar it made me ache. "No, wait. Let me try again." She drew a deep breath, also ragged. "You told me once that you could say goodbye to me if you had to, to keep me safe. Remember?" I nodded, speechless. One of our very first conversations... "And that's what you did. You did as you promised. Of course I forgive you. I mean, it didn't work out like you thought, but I forgive you for doing it."

I couldn't believe her, but my Bella was not a good liar and her face was etched in honesty. Pain, humor and honesty all at once. I did not deserve her. I never had.

Jasper broke in to the conversation. "I need to ask, too, Bella."

"No, Jasper, _you_ don't. I forgave you immediately. Didn't Alice tell you?"

"Yes, but," his drawl was pronounced as he extended a hand to her. "I need to ask you myself. Please forgive me, Bella."

She took his hand and smiled. "Of course, Jasper. Always." She did not extend a hand to me, however. That hurt. Not that I deserved the grace of a handclasp from her, but still, it hurt.

Jasper resumed his place at my side. His thoughts were in a turmoil. So were mine. All three of us were standing in absolute silence as a light evening mist that was almost drizzle began. Bella frowned at the sky and sighed.

"Edward," she whispered. "I need to tell you about Embry."

The mention of his name reawakened my anger, my worry, my self-loathing. Jasper calmed me when I started getting too tense.

"I wanted you to move on, Bella, but he's dangerous," was all I could manage.

She stiffened, her small hands stiffly interlocked in front of the party dress. The dress that was rapidly getting beyond damp. "He's completely safe. He's saved my life twice, Edward. He and the pack killed Laurent back in March..." She bit her lip but continued. "And then, just last weekend..."

I knew it. I knew it and wanted to roar. Soothing waves from Jasper kept my jaw clenched against the sound.

Bella's voice was steady, low and soft. "Just last weekend, Victoria found me. She said you'd been tracking her?"

I could only nod. I hadn't done anything right. I hadn't been able to protect her. From anything. My knees _did_ buckle then, finally, but when she and Jasper would have helped me up, I waved them off. Being on my knees before Bella seemed totally appropriate. "You, you _spoke_ with her?" I couldn't even _imagine_ that. Not in my wildest visions of horror.

"We were cliff diving, all of us, and she and half a dozen newborns came in over the water. Or maybe under..." She shook her head. "Doesn't matter. Anyway, Embry... Embry ripped her head off. Jake and Sam helped tear her apart. It's over, now, Edward. You don't have to worry about her any more. She's gone."

I could imagine the scene her hidden mind kept from me. "Can't you see how dangerous that makes Embry Call for you, Bella?"

"Maybe for someone else, like _vampires_ maybe," she said, humor lacing her words, "but not for me. See... Dang, I don't even know how to explain it to you, Edward."

 _Devotion and protection and love surround her when she says his name, Edward, but it's not like what she feels for you. Still. What he feels for her, though, is like your love for her._

Why did he have to keep reminding me?

She knew what Embry Call was and she still felt that way? "I don't understand," I confessed, still on the ground. "He's, he's a _werewolf_ , Bella. Unpredictable. Dangerous."

"And you're a _vampire_. With a thing for my blood that you can't help. And I – I love you, too."

 _Too_. She loved me _too_.

My eyes closed to my agony. Jealousy tore me apart, the pain so pervasive I almost cried out with it.

Her voice reached me, though, through all of it. Soft. Tender. "Thing is, Edward, Embry ... Um. Embry imprinted. On me."

"What?" I snapped, my eyes back to her face.

"It's, it's like a mating thing," she said, throwing her hands up. "I can't explain it any better. Thing is, he imprinted on me. That means that I – odd as it may seem – am like the center of his world. His sun. His gravity. All of that. He has to see me every day or he'll go crazy. I've seen it happen once and I won't put him through that again. I can't. It's like he's on a constant loop and he can't see or think or anything." Distress sharpened her voice. "But it's more... More than that, Edward. It's that he loves me. He can't help himself, maybe, but it's real. He loves me with every thought he has, with everything he does. Everything is geared toward making me happy. Toward keeping me safe. It's not a sacrifice for him at all and that... That blows me away." She smiled down at me and, finally, extended one small hand to me. I grasped it as a drowning man would a lifeline. "I know how it feels to be loved like that. You showed me."

 _This is overwhelming me, Edward,_ Jasper whispered in my mind. _I don't know how long I can feel this from her. It's killing me._

It was killing me, too. "Bella... I don't know what to say."

All at once, she sobbed. A huge, clogged sound that broke from her chest and had me on my feet to hold her, as close as I ever had. "I love you," she murmured against my shirt.

"I love you, Isabella Swan," I told her fiercely. "I need you."

She nodded, but then shook her head and pushed herself a little away from me. And I knew, then. I knew. "I know. But he needs me more." I started to protest but she held up her hand again. "You've been gone a long time, Edward. Nine months, just about, right? And you're still in your right mind."

"Mostly," Jasper muttered. "Sorry, Bella. It's just that... Never mind."

"I only got in my 'right mind' again when I determined to come see you tonight," I told her, trying, still, to reach her.

"But still... It's not the same. I don't know _exactly_ what's going to happen with Embry, but I can't leave him. I can't. And he can't leave the reservation, so ..."

"So you're stuck here? With a – a dog?" I spat, angry, hurt, and still loving her so much I could hardly speak clearly.

"Stop it, Edward Cullen. _Embry Call is not a dog_. He's a _man_. And he loves me. Even if it's some biological imprint, it's still real for him. I love him, too. It didn't start out that way for me, though. It's not like I imprinted on him. He had to work at making me love him. _Believe_ me. But..." Her voice softened and I heard it, then. I heard the love she had in her voice for Embry Call and it punched me again. "But it's like they said it would be. He made my happiness and well-being his top priority. Emily said it's almost impossible to resist such commitment, such devotion. She was right," she finished softly, an almost helpless smile curving her lips.

I ached to hold her again. I refrained. "I need you, too," I told her. "I can't even breathe properly unless I'm with you."

"I know how that feels," she whispered. "We'll... I don't know how to work with that. I don't want you to hurt anymore because of me, either... But Edward, it's only fair to tell you, that the imprint is a mating imperative, Sam Uley – the Alpha of the pack – thinks." Her brown gaze was direct; she knew exactly what she was telling me.

And so did I. Though that jealous monster sought to free itself from the restraints I put on it, I held him in check. I had to.

"You wanted me to stay human, remember? I will. And, really, I'm happy. Just a different kind of happy, maybe, than... Than it might have been. But," she went on, inhaling and talking in a bracing manner meant, I was sure, to encourage me, "I'll get my degree, try to be a teacher on the reservation – a very worthy occupation, I think – and probably... eventually... Act on that imperative," she concluded, her sudden blush fiery.

I tore my eyes from her to check on Jasper. He was standing there, hands limp at his sides. _She means it. She loves him. Too. She's always been like this, you know._

I did know. She put the wishes and needs of others ahead of her own. She always had.

 _He loves her, too,_ Jasper whispered to me in my mind. _Remember that. Remember. He feels almost like you do about her._

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. And then, I let her go. I felt the sob in my chest, in my throat, even more thoroughly than the burning.

"Edward," she murmured, wrapping her arms lightly around me. I could inhale her scent, the florals of her body, the devastating immediacy of her blood. "You did what you promised me," she reminded me gently. "You do love me more."

I heard her smile as she said it and we angled our heads to look each other in the eye. I saw the love for me, there. Forgiveness. Tender humor. I memorized each nuance. "I never did deserve you."

"Will you... Will you call me? And can I talk to everyone? Sometime? I have _missed_ you all."

I closed my eyes. "Yes, Bella. We've all missed you, too."

"Good."

Jasper's hand brushed my back. _I'll just give you a minute, all right?_ "Good night, Bella. I hope to hear from you soon."

She stayed in my light embrace. "Good night, Jasper. Please hug Alice for me."

When he had disappeared from even my range, I sighed again and, slowly, pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. The smell of werewolf permeated her hair, a reminder I had neglected to note previously. _Werewolf... Embry Call..._

I swallowed. "Thank you, Bella. For everything. I – I love you."

"I love you, too. And thank you. Thank you for coming and... And everything."

Her lips brushed my jaw and she pulled softly away, turned, and returned to the porch, where she retrieved the gift of the scroll. "Good night, Edward," she whispered.

I stayed where I was, in the mist-wet yard, until I saw her bedroom light. The portal to my sanctuary...

Remained closed.

I turned, paced slowly to the trees, picked up Jasper's trail, and _ran_.

The End

Stay tuned (bookmarked? noted?) for the follow-up story: _The Imperative_.


End file.
